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Hold the Biscuit: Paula Deen's Clothing Line Is Designed to Cover Your 'Front Privates'

Illustration for article titled Hold the Biscuit: Paula Deens Clothing Line Is Designed to Cover Your Front Privates

If you thought the release of Beyoncé’s Ivy Park was the most exciting celebrity fashion news of the day, think again, my friend, because Paula Deen—TV’s friendliest racist—is coming out with Paula Deen’s Closet, a clothing line designed with some very Paula Deen-specific needs in mind.

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“If there’s one thing I love more than cooking, it’s clothing,” says Deen in a press release about her new partnership with online retailer, EVINE. “Whether I’m at EVINE Live, on the set of my cooking shows or just stopping by one of my restaurants for an order of Savannah crab cakes, people always seem to be asking, ‘Paula, where did you get that outfit?’ I can’t wait to start telling them, ‘at EVINE Live, ya’ll!’”

Can’t wait to be told, Paula! But will you be offering clothes with coverage for my general vagina area?

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The answer (via People):

“I don’t know how to say this to you in a nice way, but [my clothes have] to cover my front privates. I want my shirttail to cover my front privates and hopefully my back, too.”

Great, great. One more question: Do you cook naked?

“I’ve been trying to do this for years,” Deen told PeopleStyle today. “It was a little hard for me to break out of the kitchen because that’s how people think of me. But if you notice, I never cooked naked. I was always wearing clothes!

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Thank you for clarifying.


Sucks to be you, Khloé:

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Illustration for article titled Hold the Biscuit: Paula Deens Clothing Line Is Designed to Cover Your Front Privates
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This is a very good headline.


  • Do not call Ariana Grande a whore. [NYDN]
  • Be sex positive like Gwyneth Paltrow, instead. [E! News]
  • Speaking of sex, Kate Hudson is railing J.J. Watt. [Page Six]
  • Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green: Still railing each other, probably! Megan Fox: Still not railing her coworkers! [E! News]
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  • Lea Michele got a Cory Monteith/Glee tattoo. [POPSUGAR]
  • Shocking: Gene Simmons is an asshole! [Billboard]

Image via EVINE.

Managing Editor, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

dontbesuchaboobpunchtina
DontGetYourPubesInATubeTina

So, wait... pants, skirts, or dresses don’t inherently cover the, er, “front privates” by way of their original construction?

I have been doing clothing all wrong, apparently...