Hold on to Your Crumpets: Kate Middleton's Officially in Labor!

---

Friends are concerned that Emma Roberts, who was just recently arrested and released on a domestic abuse charge for bloodying the nose of her boyfriend Evan Peters, has been Animorphing into a fearsome Lilo/Tara/Bynesian since she broke up with Chord Overstreet.

She’s embedded herself in L.A. nightlife and doesn’t roll with people who “keep their noses clean,” which I assume is a euphemism for people whose allergies keep them congested. You guys: Claritin! Perhaps Aunt Julia can take a break from eating frozen yogurt like a ferret and provide young Emmers some guidance. [TMZ]

---

Lauryn Hill has penned a letter to her fans who have supported her while she’s been in prison for tax evasion. And, uh, George Zimmerman’s about to get his gun back. Just take a second and let that marinate. The letter is lovely:

I have known since very young to look for the purpose and lesson in everything, including the trials. Although it has taken some adjustment, I cannot deny the favor I have encountered while in here, and general warm reception from a community of people who despite their circumstances, have found unique ways to make the best of them. Thank you for the letters of concern and well wishes that I receive in the mail every day. Although I may not be able to write everyone back, please know that they have been received, read, acknowledged, and appreciated.

With Love back, MLH.

[Gossip Cop]

---

Oh my God. It’s 9 AM, do you know where Geraldo Rivera’s pelvic bone is? I do, because he tweeted a coy lil’ selfie, mostly nude except a towel and actual, literal rose-colored glasses: “70 is the new 50 (Erica and family are going to be so pissed…but at my age…).”

Later Geraldo removed it and tweeted:

UH-greed. [Gossip Cop]

---

• Drake and Breezy don’t owe a cent to the night club in which they had the Great Bottle Fight. [TMZ]
• Former Real World castmember Puck was arrested for domestic violence (dude is a repeat offender.) [TMZ]
• Calvin Klein’s sometimes-boyfriend Nick Gruber punched someone in the face in the Hamptons. XOXO, Gossip Crone. [Page Six]
• Farrah Abraham has so much more money than you it’s revolting. [TMZ]
• Chord Overstreet paid tribute to Cory Monteith at his concert. [Us Weekly]
• To answer your question, TMZ: Anders. So glad we did this. [TMZ]
• Howie Mandel’s daughter got married. More on this fascinating story as it develops. (I should be on The Newsroom.) [People]
• Heidi Klum took her top off for Instagram again. [NYDN]
• Watch a dude in the crowd understandably lose his shit when Beyoncé touches his hand during a concert. Everyone that dude now touches with that hand will be blessed with perfect health and extremely glossy, high-quality hair extensioncé. [NYDN]
• Here is Lady Gaga topless and styled a la Lady Godiva on the cover of V Magazine. [Gossip Cop]
• Dina Lohan can no longer call Lindsay at rehab because earlier this month she drunk-dialed her. [TMZ]
• Miley “The World According To Ratchet” Cyrus’s parents have reconciled. [Gossip Cop]
• Meanwhile, Miley advised Justin Bieber not to be so stupid but he hasn’t listened. And: “There is sexual tension. Justin would do anything to hook up with Miley.” Nope nope nope the world would essplode. [Oceanup]
• “Amanda Bynes riding a small bike very slowly in Tribeca.” [Page Six]
• Kris and Brody Jenner are having some sort of problems. [Radar Online]
• The guy from Supernatural and his wife are expecting a second baby. [Us Weekly]
• Here is Penelope Cruz looking extremely hot and incredibly pregnant. By Jonathan Safran Foer. [Us Weekly]
• Kelly Rowland was rescued when she became lost as sea while whale watching. [Us Weekly]
• Bradley Cooper likes Metallica, I guess. [Page Six]
• Over the weekend I watched Orange Is The New Black. Correctional Officer Bennett/Matt McGorry: Please date me.
• Yeah, basically. [E!]
More from Jezebel
• These GOP Politicians Are in Too Much 'Dadgum' Danger to Go Outside, Live at Home, or Use a Seatbelt
• Anti-Abortion Politics Could Be Blocking a Breast Cancer Breakthrough
• FKA twigs Settles Sexual Battery Lawsuit With Shia LaBeouf
 
Join the discussion...