Hillary Clinton Has Trouble Coming Up With Non-Dirty Guilty Pleasures

At an event this morning, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was asked what her “guilty pleasures” were. And the possible future first female President in American history replied, “I’m just trying to think of G-rated ones.” Hillary Clinton is a spectacular freak. I knew it.

First, let’s get this out of the way: no one ever asks male celebrities or public figures what their “guilty pleasures” are because in most cases, we’d get one of two answers: “porn,” or “a lie.” But media folk (and the public, when given a chance to ask questions like media folk) ask powerful women what their guilty pleasures are all the time, right after they ask them “Do you consider yourself a feminist?” and right before they ask them about either weight loss secrets or BALANCING FAMILY AND CAREER.

So it’s kind of awesome that Hillary took this question, which she’s undoubtedly been asked before, and Made It Weird by implying she’s got all sorts of NSFW guilty pleasures besides the answer she eventually gave (“chocolate”). What could the non-G-rated pleasures possibly be? Off the top of my head:

naughty baking
foxy boxing
weed
writing filthy limmericks
Snapchatting her aides things that look like butts
writing a trio of hugely popular Twilight fanfiction books under a pseudonym that are in the process of being turned into a major motion picture.
reappropriating Barbie dolls to reflect various marginalized subcultures
taxidermy
Jackass-style stunts with her bros
vaping
porn