Hideous Sneaker Made of Holes Latest Travesty from Crocs

Illustration for article titled Hideous Sneaker Made of Holes Latest Travesty from Crocs

These new running shoes from Crosskix are made with a foam composite material called ethylene vinyl acetate (EVA) — also known as what makes a Croc a Croc. They're neon yellow, look like a useless Transformer, and appear to be so fucking flimsy, they might as well be made of banana fruit roll-ups. (At least then, they'd be good for snacking?)


That said, the company does do good by traveling to remote villages, removing the shoes kids already have, and forcing them to wear Crosskix. JK, like Crocs, they take the rubber from used shoes, melt it down into a funky slush, and mold it into material for playgrounds, tracks, and courts.

Hey, has anyone ever seen one of these playgrounds built from the glory of melted crocs? I'm looking and I can't find any. What's up? If you're buying these things, you better be building entire villages from their ruins — otherwise, what's the point*?




Rebecca "Burt" Rose

This part gives you lots of shock absorption of the loss of your dignity.