Here’s the thing: if Duggar was really repentant, would he really be making jokes about incest on national television? I recognize that some people might say he was just being stupid (these are the same people who will probably say that we’ve “all sinned” and that molesting your siblings is “a youthful indiscretion”), but if someone felt truly guilty and remorseful about something they’d done and had actually made attempts to make amends as opposed to just being talked to sternly and then gone into the wonderful world of hate-mongering with the Family Research Council (which lays the blame for molestation squarely at the feet of the LGBT+ community), they probably wouldn’t be making jokes about “being from Arkansas” on TV. Am I right, or am I right?
I just don’t believe that the reality of having molested numerous children, including your sisters, just fades out of your mind so much if you’re really sorry, you know? But I could be wrong. I do not know because I have not molested any children and therefore cannot accurately tell you what this douchebag’s rich inner world is like. Also: Fuck Josh Duggar and his smug face, his “youthful indiscretions,” and, most of all, his goddamn disgusting parents for rewarding his behavior with a television show. Also: Fuck TLC because there is literally no way in hell they did not do background research. OK, I am done being outraged this early in the morning, let’s move on. [FishWrapper]
Katy Perry and Russell Brand have not talked since their divorce, which makes sense considering they do not have children, own community property, and have both since moved on. But it’s Memorial Day, so this counts as news that you need. (Have you guys seen that whole thing about submitting stuff to our tips email? You should do that, because it’s slow as fuck out here and even The Daily Mail’s headlines are fucking mundane.)
Also: I had no idea that Perry was still dating John Mayer. I thought they had broken up for good like years ago? What is going on with the world? (NEVER MIND, I DO NOT CARE.) (Ugh, yes, I do. I care too much for it to be normal or healthy.) [The Daily Mail]
Is this what it’s come down to? Rosie O’Donnell’s divorce has gotten so bitter that her ex is suing her for custody of the couple’s baby pictures. This will definitely not affect any of Rosie’s children in any way in the near future. Perhaps she and her ex could put their differences aside and set up a therapy fund for their kid instead? She is awfully cute, though. [TMZ]
Also, this Rosie news reminded me that this gif exists.
- Here’s 450 photos of Matt Bomer with his shirt off, courtesy of [Just Jared]
- Chris Brown and Tyson Beckford are threatening each other. [TMZ]
- Chris brown is also apparently not giving his baby enough money to keep her in the lifestyle she has become accustomed to. [TMZ]
- Is Amal Clooney’s gown a hideous mess? I vote yes, but I also don’t wear socks anymore so what do I know about fashion? [Lainey Gossip]
- Ben Stiller is heartbroken over the death of his mother, Anne Meara, but he took a moment to thank the fans for their support and wrote “we were lucky to have had her in our lives.” [Gossip Cop]
- This Saturday was the 10th anniversary of Tom Cruise’s infamous “Oprah Couch Jump” in which he went nuts over how crazy he was for Katie Holmes. Speaking of Katie Holmes: I saw The Giver last night and it was pretty good. I don’t understand why Taylor Swift got her own poster considering she was in the movie for less than three minutes, but you know, marketing. [Lainey Gossip]
- Kylie Jenner hates her life sometimes. I know I’ve said it before, but: CELEBRITIES — THEY’RE JUST LIKE US. [People]
- Farrah Abraham’s boyfriend isn’t really into her daughter, which sucks, because the kid is apparently really into him. [In Touch]
- In Touch just spelled Lea Michele’s name wrong, so she’s probably boiling a rabbit in her kitchen right now, getting ready to send it to whatever poor sucker is working Memorial Day and just couldn’t give a crap about her name now that Glee is over. (They spelled it Leah.) [In Touch]
One time my friend Ray made this weird-as-fuck video with stock images and I watch it at least two times a day. Why is it so calming?
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