If you are somebody who spends an inordinate amount of time taking selfies and posting them on the internet for a following the size of a small country, then Halloween is your fucking job. And because the jig is up with sexy animals, sexy celebrities seem to be swapping outfits with other sexy celebrities.
That’s fine, but right now, the legendary ghost of Halloween past, present, and future is darkening Instagram in all of her various forms to remind us not to lose sight of the true spirit of the holiday; without her, celebrity Halloween Instagram would be no more special than a Throwback Thursday in mid-August. Scroll to the bottom to find the true holiday spirit. She will rule this day now and forever.
So far Kim Kardashian and bff Jonathan Cheban are winning the sexy duplicate contest with their Sonny and Cher look. Cher was pleased!
Cindy Crawford ruled with her Saturday Night Fever glamour at her and her husband Rande Garber’s all-out well-heeled Halloween party, which is the source of much of the following material...
...like Amal Clooney looking awesome...
...and Seth MacFarlane, who may just be wearing this around...
...Dancing With the Stars’ Derek Hough looks a lot like the guy from Wonder Woman next to Hayley Erbert...
...and finally the band R5 poking fun at Hugh Hefner who is blessedly dead before Halloween and will never ever get to pose this photo again.
Courtney Stodden as Melania, but with puzzlingly little social commentary (or commentary?)
Victoria’s Secret model Sara Sampaio and the horrors of plastic surgery:
Christina Aguilera gave us a gallery of throwbacks:
Cyndi Lauper inspired a dog in her life <3
And Lauren Conrad did this:
Jason Derulo went as an actual monster:
MTV’s Teen Wolf star Colton Haynes wins this year so far in my book:
Which is a good segue to Heidi Klum, serial fashion killer of Halloween, who’s been haunting our Instagram feeds with Twelve Days of Heidi Klum’s Halloween costumes, because if you’re Heidi Klum, Halloween is Christmas.
She grounds us. She takes risks. She dares to be old. Slightly unattractive. Somebody who doesn’t look like Heidi Klum. A psychedelic butterfly. A unidentifiable creature of only Heidi Klum’s imagination. Maybe it’s the forbidden fruit, or maybe it’s just a tomato with a snake around it. Hey, there she is in a harness flying off a balcony while covered in red feathers. She is a treasure.
So now when you look at Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kim Zolciak Biermann tributing Hugh Hefner, you can scroll up again and reflect on the fact that one time a supermodel decided to have two blood-covered surgeons roll her onto the red carpet on a stretcher because fuck it she was going as a skinless zombie this year, and you can think, yas, queen.
DISCUSSION
Are you lovely Jezzies dressing up for Halloween, and if you are, what are you dressing up as? I’m dressing up as a galaxy witch with my friends’ 3 year old daughter who is super excited I’m dressing up with her.