Here's Ellen's Opening Monologue From Tonight's Oscars By Madeleine Davies | March 3, 2014 | 2:25am Latest × Copy Link Facebook X Reddit Email ! Observations from host Ellen DeGeneres’ opening monologue at tonight’s Academy Awards: 1. Is Ellen dressed like Harry Styles or does Harry Styles dress like Ellen? Most Popular The Bezos-Sánchez Wedding Was a Real 21st-Century Fairy Tale (Derogatory) Ranking Jeff Bezos & Lauren Sánchez's Wedding Attendees Based on How Long They'll Survive the Class Wars Michigan GOP Lawmaker When Asked If He Supports Women's Bodily Autonomy: 'I Don't' 2. Liza Minnelli does NOT like being called a drag queen. 3. It wasn’t even Jonah Hill’s REAL PENIS. 4. That Ellen sure is charming. More from JezebelCharlize Theron Has Me Excited to Hook Up in My 40sJezebel's July Book Club Pick: 'The Bombshell' by Darrow FarrAnna Wintour Is So Last Season Join the discussion... GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth. Sign Up Leave this field empty if you're human: