Here's Ellen's Opening Monologue From Tonight's Oscars By Madeleine Davies | March 3, 2014 | 2:25am Latest × Copy Link Facebook X Reddit Email ! Observations from host Ellen DeGeneres’ opening monologue at tonight’s Academy Awards: 1. Is Ellen dressed like Harry Styles or does Harry Styles dress like Ellen? Most Popular George Clooney Sounds Like a Lovely House Husband Ohio Woman Faces ‘Abuse of a Corpse’ Charge for Miscarriage in Another Post-Roe Nightmare Abortion Access Will, Once Again, Be Decided by the Supreme Court 2. Liza Minnelli does NOT like being called a drag queen. 3. It wasn’t even Jonah Hill’s REAL PENIS. 4. That Ellen sure is charming. More from JezebelThis Week's 'And Just Like That...' Was a Horror MovieMan Posts Carl Jung Quotes to Intellectualize His BreakupPixar Continues to Shoot Itself in the Foot Join the discussion... GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth. Sign Up Leave this field empty if you're human: