Here's Ellen's Opening Monologue From Tonight's Oscars

Observations from host Ellen DeGeneres' opening monologue at tonight's Academy Awards:

1. Is Ellen dressed like Harry Styles or does Harry Styles dress like Ellen?

2. Liza Minnelli does NOT like being called a drag queen.

3. It wasn't even Jonah Hill's REAL PENIS.

4. That Ellen sure is charming.