There’s currently an enticing job listing over in the Scottish Borders for a family who needs a nanny. The pay is over $63,000 a year, the kids are five and seven years old, and you’d get to live on a beautiful historic property that is absolutely, insanely haunted.
5 nannies have left the role in the last year, each citing supernatural incidents as the reason, including strange noises, broken glass and furniture moving. This has obviously been a period of great upheaval for our children. We haven’t personally experienced any supernatural happenings, as they have been reported only while we’ve been out of the house, but we’re happy to pay above the asking rate, and feel it’s important to be as up-front as possible to find the right person.
I would say there’s a reason these parents haven’t experienced any supernatural happenings, which is that it is always the nanny or babysitter is ALWAYS the one first to be terrorized by whatever demonic or ghostly forces are lurking in the walls/basement/attic of haunted properties.
Don’t nanny or babysit in a haunted house. Don’t even nanny in a creepy house. Don’t nanny for children, extremely lifelike dolls, and especially old women whose caretakers assure you that they won’t come out of their room. If you do, all these things may happen and more:
- You will be driven to suicide by the family’s child, who is Satan reincarnate.
- Ghosts will trap you and your demented ‘70s braces in a closet.
- You may be forced into a Satanic ritual.
- A murderer might enter the house and try to kill you.
- You will be murdered or terrorized by a haunted doll.
- You’ll totally fall in love with this guy and think there’s a ghost in his attic but really it’s his manic ex-wife who wants to kill you.
JUST DON’T DO IT.