Here Is What We Googled in 2014, State by State

“How to get rid of acne.” “Are zombies real?” “How to craft.” “What is Tinder?” This is just a sampling of some of the weird and wonderful stuff people in America Googled this year.

Compiled by Estately using data from Google Trends, the map shows what each state really liked to Google in 2014. According to Estately, “these are NOT the top searches for each state, they are the searches each state made more of than any other state.”

Let’s look at a few of our favorite states and make fun of the weird shit we looked up online this year!

ARIZONA: Mexico-United States Border / “Wilfred” (cancelled TV show)

What I deduce from this is that everyone living in Arizona is related to Elijah Wood.

CALIFORNIA: FIFA 2014 World Cup / Malaysian Airlines / Kim Kardashian / Iggy Azalea (recording artist) / Donald Sterling (former NBA owner) / Renee Zellweger (actress) / Tom Perkins (businessman) / Joe the Plumber (political plumber) / Jamie Dornan (actor) / Steve McQueen (director) / Charles Manson (criminal) / James McAvoy (actor) / Ellen Page (actress) / James Franco Instagram / How to get rid of acne? / What is BB cream? / How to minimize pores? / How to shape eyebrows? / Nexus 6 / iPad 3 / Bitcoin / Kate Middleton butt / Chia seed / Uber

People in California want to have very nice looking eyebrows and good skin while they oggle Kate Middleton’s butt.

DELAWARE: (nothing)

Poor, poor Delaware.

KANSAS: (nothing)

Quit trying to be like Delaware, Kansas.

TEXAS: Flappy Bird download / Johnny Manziel (NFL player) / Join I.S.I.S. / Carrie Underwood baby / How to get rid of stretch marks? / James Avery (actor) / Are zombies real? / “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” (film)

Of course in Texas we’re asking “are zombies real?” Of course that shit is happening. I guarantee you that was a heated debate in a lot of West Texas homes on Christmas this year. I have a cousin who has a full fledged contingency plan for how to escape should zombies invade Dallas. In Texas, life basically comes down to “fight zombies” or “join ISIS.”

VERMONT: Lena Dunham (actress/director)) / Seth Rogen (actor) / Pete Seeger (folk singer)/ Feminism / kale / 2014 Winter Games / climate change / “The Colbert Report” (TV show) / “The Grand Budapest Hotel” (film) / Amy Schumer (comedian) / Benedict Cumberbatch (actor)

Vermont’s Google history is like a Wes Anderson film come to life. “Feminism.” “Kale.” “Climate change.” Vermont is like that pretentious vegan guy you met in your yoga class who keeps asking you to come to his Norwegian flute recital or try his home brewed cider. You know what I think? I think Vermont is completely full of shit. I think Vermont secretly Googles “Real Housewives of Atlanta” and “Michael Bay movies” just like that guy from your yoga classes secretly listens to Maroon 5 and eats Big Macs.

VIRGINIA: Tucker Carlson (conservative commentator) / Boko Haram (terrorist scumbags) / White House security / upskirt pics

This list starts to paint a picture and then you get to the last thing and all the pieces finally come together and you start to slowly back the fuck away from the picture while still trying to remember what the picture looked like so you can describe it to the police later.

WISCONSIN: What is Tinder? / Pabst Blue Ribbon

See, everyone pretends to be Vermont but they secretly just want to be Wisconsin. “What is Tinder?” Beer. Wisconsin is having a damn good time.