Having An Affair Makes A Man More Likely To Break His Penis

When a man cheats on his wife it might break more than just her heart—it might also break his penis. Yes, a new study has found that having sex outside your marriage increases your chance of having a penile fracture AKA a broken dick. It’s tempting to think of this as some sort of sweet revenge offered up by Mother Nature, but in fact extramarital sex is more dangerous simply because it usually takes place in “out-of-the-norm circumstances,” according to the study’s author urologist Dr. Andrew Kramer.

“Men in the study who had suffered penis fractures commonly were having sex in unusual settings, including in restrooms or at work, when the injury occurred.”

This, of course, means sex is more frantic and can put you in more awkward—and dangerous—positions. Kramer explains in frightening detail what this can mean:

“All these factors could make the man less able to protect his penis from an unexpected sudden downward thrust leading to the fracture.”

Yeouch! In case you were not aware, there aren’t actually any bones in a penis, so the “fracture” really refers to “tearing or laceration of a fibrous membrane called the tunica albuginea, which surrounds the spongy tissue in the center of the penis.” Given this information, maybe it’s better if people stick to having sex at home in bed with their wives. But, in the event, that someone wishes to do otherwise, what advice can Dr. Kramer offer?

“If you’re having acrobatic sex…you do have to be careful. If you are doing something in a weird position or a weird situation…you do have to be careful of fracturing the penis.”