Hair Stylists Say America Demands 'The Michele Bachmann'

There was a kinder, gentler time when Twiggy’s bob, Farrah Fawcett’s feathered look, “The Rachel,” or even Bieber’s side-swept bangs were requested at hair salons. But those days, all of them, have passed. Now our nation is demanding the “Bachmann Bob.” Because one woman’s heinous politics certainly doesn’t preclude her from having just the most lovely shade of warm, coppery brown.

While Bachmann’s stylist won’t reveal the secret to Bachmann’s locks, we think we’ve got it figured it out: three parts tea party, one part bigot, a cup of laughable gaffes, a generous spoonful of homophobia, a pinch of hate, and finish it off with a dash of batshit. At the very least, that’s the recipe for what’s in her head, if not what’s on it.

(Okay, but seriously — Tea Party! Think about it! Her hair is the color of a nice, warm cup of tea.)