Gwyneth Paltrow, Johnny Depp, and Paul Bettany made more of a splash playing "Never have I Ever" on The Ellen Degeneres Show than they did promoting their new movie Mortdecai, (but shouts to the film's trailer for that amazing nod to the time Dick Cheney's accidentally shot his friend while hunting.) Now, "Never have I ever" is one of my all-time favorite games so I was real hyped to see what the wild and crazy celebs would reveal.

Initially, I threw Gwyneth a fair amount of shade - what celebrity hasn't been to a nude beach? Isn't all of Europe a nude beach? I didn't fully understand. But then she quickly rose to "Never have I ever" prominence when she admitted to being a card carrying member of the mile high club.

Advertisement

So ok. Gwyneth and Johnny and Paul Bettany (I'm not even really sure who that is) were pretty much all on a level playing field until Ellen asked the trio if they'd ever sexted. Tell me how Gwyneth was the only one who said yes?

THE FUCK? Johnny Depp hasn't sexted? Johnny Depp the sex god of every '90s flick worth remembering has never sexted? Johnny Depp who made scissor hands look like the right move has never sexted? THE FUCK?

THE FUCK?!

You wrong for that one Johnny. And good job Gwyneth, I'm slowly starting to forgive you for disrespecting rap last week.

Advertisement