Guided Tours: The House Where Jennifer Aniston Cries Herself To Sleep

Illustration for article titled Guided Tours: The House Where Jennifer Aniston Cries Herself To Sleep

March's Architectural Digest offers an exclusive look inside the home Jennifer Aniston and designer Stephen Shadley worked on for 2½ years. The captions are not nearly tabloid-y enough, so our misguided "contributor," Tiara Dew Dots, rewrote them.

Advertisement

In all honesty, the Bali-inspired house is gorgeous. Much of the wood was not cut, but harvested from fallen trees. It's perfect for parties, and Aniston tells the mag: "I entertain for a living, and I entertain." People gather at her house often, and she always finds herself in the kitchen. But body-language "expert" and tabloid enthusiast Tiara Dew Dots knows better: Jen's house is a cocoon of despair!

Illustration for article titled Guided Tours: The House Where Jennifer Aniston Cries Herself To Sleep
Advertisement

TDD: Here is where poor lonely desperate Jen cries herself to sleep every night. Oh, it looks like a dreamy, Zen-inspired refuge, but trust me: Those pillows are stained with tears.

Illustration for article titled Guided Tours: The House Where Jennifer Aniston Cries Herself To Sleep

TDD: Each one of these empty seats represents a relationship failure.


Beg your pardon, Ms. Dew Dots… But why does Jen look so… happy? She is literally kicking up her heels with joy!


TDD: Please. That is the yoga pose known as the Scissor of Sadness.

Earlier: Body Language "Expert" Weighs In On Vogue's Anna Wintour
Body Language Expert: Twilight Stars In Love
Body Language "Expert" Weighs In On Brad & Angie

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

jigglyball-old
jigglyball

Oh come now, let's call this what it is, shall we? Jen is well aware of Brad's love of architecture, and this is nothing more than a cleverly crafted move to land the cover of his favorite mag. She's infiltrating his bathroom reading. When he's on the pot, she's on his mind. I mean, really, who builds a spa bathroom with an oversized soaking tub because they like it?

I can't believe Life & Style hasn't jumped on this yet.