Great, Now Flour Might Kill Us

Illustration for article titled Great, Now Flour Might Kill Us
Image: AP

In a world where measles is deadly again, and every surface will soon be coated by an impenetrable layer of drug-resistant fungus, pancakes were my only comfort. But nope, turns out flour is also diseased, and we all need to throw it away.

The Centers for Disease Control has announced that 5-pound bags of Baker’s Corner All Purpose Flour could be riddled with E. coli. At least 17 people in eight states have gotten sick from the contaminated flour, sold at Aldi’s supermarkets, from December 2018 to April 2019.

If you’ve got any in your pantry, probably go ahead and toss it:

“Consumers should not use any of the recalled flour and should throw recalled flour away,” the CDC said of the outbreak.

“If you stored flour purchased from ALDI in another container without the packaging and don’t remember the brand or ‘better by’ date, throw it away. Consumers should thoroughly wash the containers before using them again.”


The contaminated flour was sold in Connecticut, Delaware, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, and West Virginia. But those of us on the West Coast shouldn’t start gloating about our pristine flour just yet. The FDA is looking into the possibility that other brands may be contaminated as well.

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Mireille is sensational, like a She-Hulk

We need to eliminate all regulations! Thank you, Trump administration! Finally, we have the freedom to get sick and die from using everyday household items that aren’t supposed to be toxic. MAGA!