After being pummeled in the 2012 elections, the GOP has been asking itself, over and over, the infernal question it cannot seem to answer: What do women even care about? Finally, almost two years and dozens of embarrassing news cycles later, they have their answer. Wedding dresses. Bitches love wedding dresses.
This is a real ad put together by the College Republican National Committee. Featuring all of the tropes sure to snag women — dresses, weddings, wedding dresses, sassy black friends in reaction shots, hating a mean mommy — "Say Yes to the Dress" proves that the GOP has finally figured out that the proper way to talk to women is to explain things in terms of bridal wear.
To make matters worse, the CRNC doesn't seem to understand that the dress they're trying to present to audiences as appealing is the ugliest effing wedding dress I have ever seen. It could not be more Florida if it were getting arrested for pooping in a ball pit while high on meth, or drunk and pregnant and crashing a go-kart through a Senor Frogs. The Charlie Crist dress just needs a little tailoring, and it could be incredibly elegant and flattering.
Besides, if a wedding dress were truly a Rick Scott wedding dress, it would require a clean drug test at a Rick Scott-owned clinic before the woman was allowed to purchase it.