Good Luck to the Game of Thrones Cast, Who Reportedly Won't Get Scripts for the Final Season

Image: HBO
Image: HBO

Best of luck to Game of Thrones fans who will be forced to sit through what sounds like the most wooden and poorly-acted season of this cursed show about dragons and incest: due to leaks, hackers and Benioff and Weiss’s rock hard secrecy boner, the cast of Game of Thrones reportedly won’t even be receiving scripts for its eighth season.


In an appearance on a “Scandinavian chat show” called Skavlan, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau—who plays the one-handed, formerly hot, currently sad, sister fucker Jaime Lannister—reportedly said that this year, the actors won’t even be able to see a script with their own eyes. As the ultimate failsafe against hackers, leakers, spoilers, and those who wish to bring harm against this epic nerd soap opera, the actors will be fed their lines through a freaking earpiece and will be expected to deliver their dialogue that way, line by excruciating line.

Listen: I understand that spoilers are bad for people who appreciate surprises and like the nauseating feeling of not knowing what’s going to happen on their favorite show about blood magic and a fabulous ice queen who rides a horse made of air and broken dreams (the Night King), but for the REST of us, I gotta say... who cares???


Will we be able to see the earpieces? Will the wigs get more elaborate in order to conceal the fact that the actors are being fed lines like some sort of fantasy Cyrano be Bergerac situation? Is anyone going to be able to “act”? There are state secrets that exist with less protection than the freaking Game of Thrones scripts for its final season. Please. I beg of you. Relax.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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I... are we sure this wasn’t a joke? Like 100%? B/c this sounds beyond the pale of absurdity.