Good God Almighty, This Hot GRITS Show

VH1 recently announced its spring lineup and additions include Hot GRITS, a show following several girls and their South Georgia escapades. As a native Georgian who spent chunks of her childhood not so far from where this was filmed, I am beside myself. I have burst from my skin and I am standing next to myself.

The show is filmed in Valdosta. If you’re not familiar with Valdosta (you probably aren’t) it’s a town close to the Florida border, flat as a pancake, south of where the sweet onions come from and east of the Okefenokee Swamp, which is full of alligators. “GRITS” a.k.a. “Girls Raised in the South,” is a term you might recognize from throw pillows or perhaps sassy t-shirts. According to the announcement (via The Ashley’s Reality Roundup):

Don’t let their dainty image and sweet disposition fool you, in this small town you’ll find professional models that also drift cars and hunt raccoon in their spare time. The cast includes seven young women who prove that Southern girls aren’t all cut from the same cloth. Dynamic duo, Emily and Hailey are the poster girls for southern belles: they love luxurious cars, glamorous shopping sprees and have dreams of living the high life in the big city. Jenna, Ratchet, Sarah and Bear are typical country girls. They wear camouflage, carry shot guns and serve up southern sass for dinner. Rounding out the group is Jennifer, who recently remarried her ex-husband. Nothing is off limits for these “Hot GRITS,” whether it is getting rid of a live in ex-boyfriend, revealing a secret marriage to a traditional family or breaking out of the small town life. “Hot GRITS” has plenty to show about living life in Valdosta, Georgia, where being pretty is the norm but living outside of the box is a must.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. This is going to be a mess and a trip and a half and I don’t even have enough folksy colloquialisms to express my feelings right now. Is America even ready for in-town vs. county-dweller tension? The sizzle reel is a bunch of inner tubing and ribs and drinking and fishing and one girl telling another, “Yeah, girl, you know you’re a bitch.”

Lord have mercy. I’m not even sure whether I’m horrified or delighted which, I think we can all admit, is the sweet spot where reality TV thrives.