Good/Bad/Ugly: Hell Yeah There Were Sparkles at the CMA Awards

Last night at the 46th annual CMA Awards at the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, stars put on their sparkliest sparkles to sparkle the night away. There were blue sparkles, red sparkles, black sparkles, and then, more sparkles. Let’s take a look!

Has someone been using mousse for volume? Quite a bit of hair happening on Kimberly Perry, Neil Perry, and Reid Perry of The Band Perry. The dress is a little “Christmas at your rich grandma’s house,” which is a good look.

Carrie Underwood looks super pretty in pure-as-the-driven-snow white.

Hillary Scott of Lady Antebellum is foxy in form-fitting black, but Reba shows the young’uns you how to do the damn thing. Sparkle, Neely, sparkle!

Lauren Alaina wears exactly what you’e supposed to wear to a country music awards event: Big, bold show-stopping dress that sparkles. Meanwhile, Michael Lockwood and Lisa Marie Presley look like they’re on an HGTV show about people who live in a steampunk house. Weirdly fun.

Olympic gold medalist gymnast Shawn Johnson — ADORABLE. Slinky sparkles and a little glimpse of a well-muscled thigh.

Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland, glowing in a basic black tube.

Karen Fairchild, wears shiny shiny gold, and that should be bad, but instead it’s kind of good, like old school Cher good.

On the fence about Kimberly Schlapman’s look. It’s probably bad, but those lashes are mesmerizing.

Actress Jana Kramer lookin’ fab in slinky, inky black. Sparkles!

Crisp, contrasty black and white for Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Note the braces on her teeth, are they pink?

Lucy Hale of Pretty Little Liars, also in black and white. Love the sparkles, drapey neck and back, bright red lips and nails.

Pretty baby blue (or is it periwinkle?) sparkly gown on Kellie Pickler. Even if her boobs look a little squished.

Your BFF Taylor Swift is doing that thing she does so well, where not a hair is out of placeand the lipstick is perfect and the dress fits properly and the whole effect is very effortless glam and beautiful but also OMG SO PREDICTABLE.

Best. Hayden Panettiere’s kicky little flapper-ish dress is AWESOME. Cute as hell, slightly sexy, perfect shoes and purse. Damn you Juliette Barnes!

Okay. Be advised: We’re entering The Bad.

Technically, Miranda Lambert looks good. The construction of the bodice is very flattering, and the filmy skirt of her gown is pretty, but the color is a little meh. A peachier pinker color would be better for her skin tone.

The greco-roman influence of the gown on Shawna Thompson of Thompson Square is cool, but it’s weird how it looks like her alien-abs are showing through the bodice. Love me some leopard print, but Jake Owen’s jacket is not right. Lacey Buchanan Owen’s hideous green dress has some kind of mesh yip-yip gaping maw.

Katie Armiger’s ombre green looks like water damage, but maybe that’s just the mindset I’m in right now. Gwen Sebastian does the off-the-shoulder thing quite well, shame about the pit stains. Been there.

Representing The Ugly:

Sorry, Kimberly Williams-Paisley. You are quite cute, and shiny things are awesome, I love shiny things, but this dress is… ugly. Maybe if it was being used to wrap a Hanukkah present? Then it would be okay?