Goldie Hawn Is Sad, Which Is Just One More Thing to Be Sad About

Illustration for article titled Goldie Hawn Is Sad, Which Is Just One More Thing to Be Sad About
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Once, a frenemy attempted to jokingly insult me by comparing my personality to Goldie Hawn’s in the first fifteen minutes of Overboard. However, that backhanded compliment landed like a front-handed compliment because I fucking love Goldie Hawn and will gladly accept any and all comparisons to her no matter which act of Overboard they come from.

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And this lifelong admiration, perhaps born of my delight at her effervescent, joyful dancing on the reruns of Laugh-In I watched religiously on as a child, is most likely why I am genuinely troubled by how sad she is while staying at home, whereas I might be less empathetic were some other celebrity to cop to crying “three times a day” while imprisoned in a mansion.

Earlier this week, Hawn created a “laughing challenge” on Instagram, encouraging followers to send videos of themselves laughing. But that enticement to perform mirth could just be because she is very in need of cheer, according to an interview she did with Good Morning Britain:

“We are very lucky and I’m incredibly grateful, but I do feel a tremendous angst and a tremendous sadness,” Hawn told hosts Susanna Reid and international killjoy Piers Morgan. “I find every day I cry probably three times a day because it hurts me to think that there is abuse going on, anger going on and this all has to do with confinement, fear and uncertainty about what is going to happen. It’s catastrophizing.”

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Hawn went on to acknowledge that with a slew of mansions and probable access to a yacht even better than the one in Overboard complete with fun mechanical shoe closets that are properly built from the correct wood, which is cedar, she has very little to cry about. And even though Goldie Hawn’s life is better than mine in every way, including her unlimited access to Kurt Russell, and I am equally distraught over the current level of global suffering, I hope Goldie Hawn cheers up very soon, as she has provided me with hours of delight. [Page Six]


Yesterday while walking my dog in West Hollywood, I happened upon a man getting a haircut in the alley behind a motorcycle repair shop, so it is not difficult to believe that famous Angelinos are getting tattoos in their homes or perhaps in speakeasy tattoo parlors, though much of the city still under covid-19 social distancing restrictions.

Cardi B is among the newly inked, showing off some very beautiful colorwork on a fresh butterfly and flower tattoo via Instagram.

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But despite possibly breaking social distancing for a new tattoo, Cardi did appear to be home alone attempting to film her own back with a phone, so that counts as trying. [Page Six]

  • Although their engagement began on Wrestlemania, John Cena and Nikki Bella got un-engaged for all-too-real but ultimately quite sensible reasons. [Us Weekly]
  • Sofia Richie is on a break from Scott Disick, also for sensible reasons. [Us Weekly].
  • The Nashville mansion of Kristin Cavallari and someone called Jay Cutler is on clearance if anyone would like to own a little piece of American history. [Us Weekly]
  • I don’t know who these people are, but they are married. Congratulations, you two! [Page Six]
  • If the whole Duchess thing doesn’t pan out, Kate has a real future as a bingo caller at whatever is the UK equivalent of a VFW. [People]

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I love Goldie! I hope she’s ok. She’s one of the good ones!

I’ve come to the conclusion that around here, Cardi B is Trump, and Jezebel are her MAGA wearing fanatics. She literally can do no wrong. I would have loved to see how it would have been framed if, let’s say, Taylor Swift got a tattoo during quarantine.