Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Golden Globes Fashion: When It's Bad, It's Really Bad

There was something in the water in California last night, forcing otherwise well-dressed people to deck themselves in shockingly horrible getups. Maybe all of Hollywood lost a bet. All I know is, my jaw is permanently anchored to the floor.

Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

It actually looks like Christina Hendricks went to Christian Siriano (yes) with a Peaches 'n Cream Barbie circa 1985, asked him to copy it directly, and he was like, fierce.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

And Nicole Kidman went to Nina Ricci and was like, "yeah, like she said, except with a dash of David's Bridal and just a touch of five-year-old-playing-dress-up at the Salvation Army, except, please also get all your materials at a crafts superstore."


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad

And Christina Aguilera thought, hmm, maybe if we went a little more fembot? And obviously, Versace had already made it, so that worked out.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

And this, in turn, inspired Elisabetta Canalis, who also wished to incorporate her interest in basket-weaving.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Shaun Robinson is also a fan of the weaving arts.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

One of the most horrifying things about this red carpet was the fact that even usually impeccable dressers seemed to have gone temporarily mad. Yes, I may apply a higher standard to Marion Cotillard, but really? I wouldn't have thought that she + Dior could have looked so...cheesy.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

And when Halle's courting tack (is that a word? Not horse accessories) you know you've got a problem.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Et tu, Penelope? This busy Giorgio Armani Prive is neither interesting nor lovely.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

And I get wanting to show Lacroix love in these troubled times, but Diane Kruger's tulle situation looks organic - in the bad way.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Speaking of sloppy fuschia! The generally faultless Zoe Saldana is gone with the raggle-taggle gypsies, oh. (Or Louis Vuitton.)


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

January Jones' Lanvin looks weirdly messy and ill-fitting, yes?


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Drew Barrymore at Atelier Versace: yeah, that's beautiful, but what if we added some tumor-like crystal growths at random intervals?


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

For some reason, Elisabeth Moss's frumpy Grecian and questionable hairdo choice distressed me more than any other red carpet disappointment.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Yes, even more than Helen Mirren's Reagan-era special.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Or Julianne Moore's Mrs. Roper-pulls-a-Scarlett-O'Hara Balenciaga!


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Man, I hate ragging on Tina Fey. And I think I can even see what she was going for with this Zac Posen - but, oh, the shoes, the shoes!


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

No qualms, however, about auf'ing Heidi Klum's 1989 wedding dress. (Roberto Cavalli)


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Speaking of bad fishtails: Vera Farmiga's is like a store wrapping station out of control.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

And speaking of retro weddings! Jennifer Meyer is suddenly everyone's mom, circa 1980.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

And, ooh! Ooh! Speaking of early-80s sundress styling: Jenna Fischer!


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

The ever-popular "Mattel Chic" look, as modeled by Leona Lewis.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Lauren Graham, meanwhile, does Madonna-as-Marilyn-as Barbie.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Fergie appears to have bought this dress at Cache, and that's all I have to say about that, except that yes I do know it's actually Elie Saab.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Lest you think the men redeemed things, think again: Quentin Tarantino looks like an aging mobster on a bad trip.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Youth in revolt: dudes like Cory Monteith seem to have mistaken "shiny tux" for "sophistication."


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Ditto Taylor Lautner.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Would just two inches more have killed Mimi? Or her Herve Leger by Max Azria?


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

I saw Vanessa Minillo's gaudy frock early in the evening, and thought it was pretty Vegas. But after seeing this parade of horrors, it now seems like the height of tasteful elegance.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Why, why, why does someone always feel the need to carry the Laura Ashley upholstery standard? And why did poor Rita Wilson draw that card?


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Speaking of unfortunate florals...and belts...and shoes: Nancy Shevell sports what a diplomatic friend of mine would call "a strong choice."


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Patricia Arquette marches to the beat of her own drum. The drum is actually a can covered in waxed paper and secured by a rubber band, made by her 5-year-old.


Illustration for article titled Golden Globes Fashion: When Its Bad, Its Really Bad
Advertisement

Jennifer Morrison's dress, among other things, may have been crafted from old pantyhose.


This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.
Advertisement

Getty" />

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

meritxell
meritxell: an erotic life

Jeez, these are all really bad. Even the ones with the colors that would have killed if the structure were less fussy (Cotillard's beautiful deep green, Lewis' lavender, Saldana's burgundy) are generally terrible.

Satin + fishtails = horror.

Christina Hendricks (who is beyond gorgeous) picked a great color too but the ruffles ruined it.

Mariah needs to let go of the Herve Leger, shit's been played to death and can look pretty skanky (I know skanky is her thing, but still).

Nicole was SO CLOSE to a sort of 20's flapper glam, but those fug bows wrecked it.

Aguilera actually looks kind of nice. I dig the Sasha Fierce bodice but it gets jumbled with that ascot thing at the hip. I don't think I like the peach on her, though.

Diane Kruger comes out looking the best, IMO, but even that's maybe running at about 70% of potential awesomeness.

Did anyone see Amanda Palmer's dress? She was rocking the Theda Bara look.

Love how the chick in the background of Fergie got caught adjusting her cleav.