There was another country music award show Monday night. This one was called the American Country Countdown Awards, and the fashion was–dare I say–tamer than what we have come to expect from these events.

Well, tamer if tamer meant "what you would expect girls going to the club on New Year's Eve to wear." 'Tis the season!

Caroline Boyer, Meghan Linsey, Miss America aka Kira Kazantsev and Gwen Sebastian were all blondes in little black (and gold) dresses. None of them were really WOW, however, should their individual careers not work out, they could consider joining together and forming a girl group.

Advertisement

Slightly less black and a little more gold, RaeLynn, Maddie & Tae and Katie Armiger all did little sparkly dresses with black shoes. RayLynn and Katie Armiger's worked the best, but mostly because nude netting seen on Tae's back is no one's friend.

Now for the ladies who went long and formal: Miranda Lambert did bondage Bat Girl and maybe I'm tired and bear a soft spot for Alicia Silverstone, but I love it. Cassadee Pope brought her grandmother's fur. Carrie Underwood is pregnant.

Advertisement

In eh: Emily Kinne picked up the dress that Top Shop does best; Reba looks perfectly nice but that's about it; Sara Evans DEAR LORD LOOKOUT.

Advertisement

Men in Black: Dustin Lynch...I don't even know about any of this; Scott Borchetta, the head of Big Machine records (Taylor Swift's label) who has been spearheading the Spotify attack wears his musical politics literally on his sleeve; Jason Aldean is trying to kill me with that scarf; Chase Bryant looks quite um, dapper?

A bunch of folks from Lady Antebellum, most of whom look pretty happy and don't they say that happiness is the best fashion statement? (Except for Cassie McConnell on the right because what is happening with the top–and bottom–of that dress.)

Advertisement

Kate Moore and artist Justin Moore were out-shined by their sadly unidentified child.

Advertisement

We are all Vince Vaughn today, standing on a red carpet in a wrinkled, ill-fitting suit, wondering what the fuck we're doing here.