Godzilla and Kong Should Kiss

Illustration for article titled Godzilla and Kong Should Kiss
Image: IMAX

Here’s what I know about Godzilla vs. Kong: Two iconic monsters have beef for some reason, it made a lot of money in the box office over the weekend (by pandemic standards), and Millie Bobbie Brown plays an... ecoterrorist? OK, sure. I also know that these legendary mutants don’t kiss, not once.

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I plan on viewing what my colleagues (namely, Joan Summers) called “the best movie I’ve ever watched” as soon as I’m done bleaching my frontal lobes from watching the Q: Into the Storm documentary. But according to my sources, Kong and Godzilla do not, at any point, decide to kiss and make up.

Is this the right message to send in the covid-19 era? Have we not realized that society, norms, and life as we know it are all so fragile, and that we should not let petty squabbles get the best of us? Certainly not to the point of destroying Hong Kong in an epic battle to end all battles. Giant radioactive lizard creatures and gorilla-like monsters alike can and should find common ground on several key issues: They both enjoy fresh air, being quadrupeds, and roaring. That’s enough to prompt some interesting conversations on Hinge in my book.

Watch this scene. Observe the tender look in Kong’s eyes, Godzilla’s yearning for contact, the words left unsaid. You could cut the tension with a knife, and the filmmakers decided not to pounce on it.

Missed opportunity.

I can’t trust Hollywood, but I have faith that my fellow Godzilla/Kong shippers won’t leave me hanging. And know this: I will be monitoring the “enemies to friends to lovers” tag over at the fanfiction platform Archive of Our Own for updates. If the filmmakers aren’t going to give us what we want, the fans will give us what we need.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

DISCUSSION

grant8418
grant8418

It’s probably cause Godzilla’s breath isn’t very pleasent cause of all that nuclear stuff being thrown up all the time, and Kong doesn’t really keep mints or gum nearby.