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Go Home, Sarah Palin. You're Drunk.

Former Alaska governor and current ??? Sarah Palin, who has a rare condition that renders her incapable of improvement, appeared on Megyn Kelly's show on Fox News yesterday. And it was... even more of a shitshow than most Sarah Palin appearances. Even Megyn Kelly — tough, no-nonsense host Megyn Kelly — had trouble reining her in. Let's watch.

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Here's just part of Palin's completely incomprehensible rant in response Kelly's opening question. For your convenience, I've bolded the winning Wingnut Bingo words in case you're playing along at home.

Palin: I think that remark is one of his more out of touch remarks that we've heard in recent days. No. What emboldened our enemies and what empowered our competitors was his promise to fundamentally transform America from being a solvent, free, exceptional country into something we're not gonna recognize. Also, what has emboldened enemies is that he with doubling of our debt since he's been elected, putting us on a path towards bankruptcy, and then locking up pipelines and resources that will result in us being more reliant on foreign imports for energy, and then of course he, having left behind, his administration having left behind our brave men in Benghazi to be murdered, and then of course there's Syria, where he promised to bombSyria because in that civil war, Syria was going to bomb Syria, and then we never heard another word again about his threat to bomb in a foreign civil war, and then of course, most recently, Megyn, he, uh, using our military, those who would fight against our enemies. Our military. Our vets. Shutting down their memorials. And holding them hostage in terms of budget deals. Uh, threatening to withhold paychecks for our brave men and women. As for economic—

Kelly: Listen, but let me ask you — let me jump in

Palin: AS FOR ECONOMIC COMPETITORS! Corporate tax rate, the second highest in the industrialized world. Now that empowers our competitors.

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If you haven't won BINGO after that you should request a new card.

Palin's always been fast and loose with both grammar and facts, but does it seem like she's even more, uh, unhinged than she was when she first barged onto the national scene in 2008?

She's like what happens when you put a bunch of paranoid right wing talking points in the microwave and then accidentally hit 10:00 instead of 1:00 and then you walk away and forget about it and 6 minutes later, you're like what's burning? OH NOOO! and you run to the kitchen and your delicious Annie's Organic Mac N' Crazy has turned into molten hot inedible magma.

You guys, John McCain thought she'd make a good Vice President. Remember when his campaign team spent a weekend trying to help her cram for her debate with Joe Biden? In retrospect, that doomed effort seems almost adorably naive. Sarah Palin, frowning with concentration over index cards containing facts she'd never learn. Even 5 years later. God. What a world.

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[HuffPo]

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DISCUSSION

Thesecretingredientisphone
The secret ingredient is phone

We get it Sarah, your new word for the day was embolden, you don't need to use it every three sentences. I worked on her rival's campaign for my senior project one year. I have been kicking myself ever since for not doing more. I have a friend who was rear-ended by her on Northern Lights and Minnesota, she regrets not throwing it into reverse and taking Palin out when she had the chance.

Alaska feels nothing but deep regret for Sarah Palin. America, we are sorry.