Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards

Last night at the 40th American Music Awards, the stars were shiny and bright, with gold being one of the most popular colors on the red carpet.

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Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards

I didn't love this dress when I saw it on Rumer Willis at the amfAR gala, but Zendaya Coleman looks adorable in it. Weird.

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Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards

Here's Amy Heidemann and Nick Noonan of Karmin. Strange dress, stranger hair.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Some dapper dudes: Curtis Jackson, Tyga, Kevin Richardson, Phillip Philllips .

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Ladies and gentlemen: The Eyebrows and Lips of The Wanted.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Mr. Saggypants himself, Justin Bieber.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Is The Beebs wearing a leather tank top??? His mom has no problem with it.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Your friend Chris Brown looks morose.

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Lance Bass shimmers in blue.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Brad Goreski pairs a tux jacket with embellished jeans.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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It appears that Psy is wearing a collarless leather jacket with shoulder pads and sparkle trousers. Horrible. Love you, Psy.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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More leather and sparkle: Gwen Stefani and the guys from No Doubt.

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Kelly Rowland's dress is reminiscent of a cave in Yoshi's Island. In a good way.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Gloria Estefan wows in figure-hugging iridescent green.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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There's something super late 70s/early 80s happening with Christina Aguilera 's look, which is not necessarily bad. The wig seems too light for her skin, but whatevs, that's cool, she's channelling Ann Jillian in It's A Living.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Christina Aguilera, kicking up her heels. It sucks when a wig looks like a wig. The dress is flattering, at least?

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Jordin Sparks and Jason Derulo. I am of the opinion that this dress is hideous.

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Awesome LBD and cherry-red heels on Lucy Hale.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Slinky black on Jennifer Morrison.

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Black with a kaleidoscopic bodice: Rocsi Diaz. I dig everything except the skirt portion.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Now let's look at some pale shimmery sparkly things: Hayden Panettiere in a pretty little ice skating/effervescent cocktail dress.

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Carly Rae Jepsen in sugary pink with sequins. She looks good, but this gown is not terribly exciting or current.

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Ginnifer Goodwin, also in sugary pink — a much more interesting dress, although the collar is weird.

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Soft peachy pink is great on Ke$ha . Wiggy wig, ugh.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Oh look, it's our old friend sheer/nude/mesh see-through. So hot right now. Kimberly Cole looks very Vegas. Fine. Me no likey, but fine.

Illustration for article titled Glittery Gowns and Hideous Hair at the American Music Awards
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Next up: Metallics. Colbie Caillat's pewter gown appears to be cobbled together and pinned closed, but the turquoise touches are gorgeous.

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Stacy Keibler and her legs show off in geometrical gunmetal.

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Pink's a warrior in a bronze breastplate and fluid skirt. Dig the contrast of hard and soft.

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Ever-understated Golden Girl Phoebe Price.

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Golden goddess: Elisha Cuthbert.

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Jenny McCarthy pairs gold with black.

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More gold: Heidi Klum, in barely-there lace.

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Taylor Swift rocked a tiny beige/sheer/nude with hints of gold.

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Does Taylor Swift ever have a hair out of place? Is she ever not flawless? Does she worship at the altar of perfect? It's kind of annoying.

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Thank you, Cyndi Lauper, for some old-school crazytown music awards steez. And thank you, Mayra Veronica, for that gravity-defying cleavage. Things were getting boring.

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Let's finish up with some vivid colors: Carrie Underwood in dazzling amethyst.

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Kerry Washington's zingy lemony yellow is vibrant and awesome, even if the hem length is all wrong. (Should be shorter!)

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Last, but not least: Nicki Minaj in chartreuse, doing her best broken-down doll couture poses. That's how you steal the spotlight. We'll forgive the wiggy wig here.

Images via Getty.

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DISCUSSION

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JBeibs, you're too young to know this, but one day you'll try in vain to find every copy of this photo and destroy it. And then, 10 years later, you'll be glad you couldn't get all of them, because you'll want to show it to your kids to discourage them from wearing PANTS THAT FUCKING STUPID.