Glenn Beck Calls His Penis a 'Winkie'

My deepest apologies in advance—I didn’t meant mean to hurt you. It is my sorry duty to report that Glenn Beck, a grown man, uses the word “winkie” to describe his penis and the penises of other men.

Today on the radio program that he apparently hosts, Beck and cohosts were having an extremely progressive conversation about how men shouldn’t watch Nicholas Sparks movies, lest they turn into women.

They joked that any man who sees more than one of Sparks’ white-people-almost-kissing films is probably questioning his gender, although they helpfully added: “there’s nothing wrong with that.” Beck went on to suggest that male fans of Nicholas Sparks should put “iodine on the winkie” or “cut it off like butter knife.” Lovely.

There are just so many levels of awfulness here. There’s the archaic and ignorant jokes about tired gender stereotypes, transphobia, the idea that anyone—male or female—would be subjected to watching more than one Nicholas Sparks film and of course, WINKIE.

Call me when someone is able to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind the winkie memory from my brain.