Giant Newly-Discovered Dinosaur Is Good News for Dinosaur Erotica Fans

Scientists today were pleased to announce that they’ve discovered a new species of dinosaur and named it Siats meekerorum. The most pleasing part of this pleasing discovery is that the Siats is both bigger and cooler (according to scientific projections they have built-in leopard spotted jackets!) than the T. Rex. Now the world waits with bated breath for the accompanying erotica ebook.

Here are some fun Siats facts: the juveniles are 30 feet long, which means that the adults are massive (“This thing is gigantic,” notes paleontologist Lindsay Zanno. The erotica book is seriously writing itself, guys). They’re more slender than T. reges, and they have three fingers instead of two. Bet your old two-digited fantasy dinosaur boyfriend is looking pretty stupid right about now.

“It’s not only a new cool dinosaur,” said Peter
Roopnarine, an ancient ecologies expert — thus scientifically confirming once and for all that the creature is cool — “but from my perspective, it alters
our picture of the entire ecosystem of that time.” Uh, whatever, let’s stick with the cool part. The Siats was around at the same time as the T. rex — but because they were, in the words of an ancient ecologies expert, “cool,” and because they were big and had those leopard coats, they were the top of the social hierarchy. “Tyrannosaurids would’ve been bullied by Siats and probably tried to steer clear of them because of the size difference,” says Zanno.

“Tyrannosaurids: you can’t sit with us! Unless we’re in the process of eating you lol not typically our food preference but we’ve been known to dabble” — something it might have said on the AIM profile of a juvenile Siats.

All of this is to say that Taken By the T-Rex deserves — nay, demands! — a sequel called Seduced by the Siats. The plot can just be a direct rip-off of one of the Twilight books, with a few “wet womanhood”-like phrases sprinkled in liberally. Dinosaur erotica readers aren’t choosy.

“New Giant Dinosaur Was the Apex Predator Before T-Rex” [Wired]
Image via AP.