Get Paid for Treating Men Like Shit Through the High Art of FinDom

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA—There are many noble professions—doctors save lives, scientific researchers answer important questions, firefighters fight fire. But few are as noble as financial domination, or FinDom, the art of insulting and humiliating men and then making them pay for it.


At last week’s Adult Entertainment Expo, I met Goddess Haven (@Haven_TheGreat on Twitter), a professional (and seemingly successful) financial dominatrix based in Orlando. From her website: “I am everything you work hard for, your wish come true, your fantasy turned into reality, your ruler, your GODDESS.”

Financial domination is a D/s (dominance and submission) fetish where the power exchange is “through financial transactions”: the submissive client, called a pay pig or cash pig, will offer gifts and other payments to the Domme, in exchange for various forms of humiliation, a power dynamic I am enthusiastic about signing up for.

Haven posts clips via, a kind of Patreon of porn, where people can host and sell their work, and also offers a variety of services, including humiliation—10 minutes costs $30, a half hour costs $100—where she’ll “remind you losers how low you are, how you’ll never amount to anything and so forth,” teamviewer, where she takes control of your computer, JOI (jerk off instructions), and financial slavery, among others. She explains on her website, “A pay pig’s goal is to keep me happily spoiled. If you can’t do that, don’t apply for a spot in my pen.”

In our conversation, Haven explained that FinDom isn’t just a highly efficient (and cool as hell) way of getting money. “When I first started, I was really, really insecure, and as I progressed, hearing those positive affirmations every day, like, ‘Oh, I’m beautiful, you could never have me,’ and then having guys agree is a serious confidence boost.”

But like any interaction in which the power dynamic is in harsh focus, FinDom isn’t completely without risk. One writer in Huck Magazine briefly engaged in a findom relationship, in which a man pressured her into receiving gifts, which she began to find uncomfortable. “To some extent,” she writes, “he liked the idea of me depending on him. And the money wasn’t really a gift at all—it was a transaction. He was attempting to buy my time, to buy my attention, and the ability to involve me in his fantasies.” The article also gets into “time wasters”—something Haven told me she also had encountered loads of—who will try to engage without actually sending money. Haven also told me (and other dommes echoed this to Topic) that the market has become fairly saturated, with a lot of women posting #findom requests on Twitter, but few putting in the work to cultivate their small businesses.


Watch the video above for Haven’s tips on getting into FinDom (consensually, consistently, and with joy—otherwise it’s just like any other job!), how she earned $42,000 in a day from one guy, and what’s next for her (she’s investing in real estate).

Senior Editor, Jezebel



Ex-professional dominatrix here. I had a few findom clients but chose not to focus my practice around it. I found that the guys can be REALLY high maintenance. People often think findom is an easy, no effort way to make money (a mistake people make about sex work in general) but it is NOT.

The other thing that made me be very selective about who I took on as a findom client is that a fair number of the guys seemed to me to be kind of mentally unstable. I absolutely believe that people can engage with kink from a healthy and happy place, but it struck me that the number of findom guys who did not was higher than with many other fetishes. Succeeding as a sex worker is all about proactively managing risk, and it seemed like dealing with some of the findom guys was playing with fire. A lot would ask for some kind of blackmail scheme to be set up, which obviously introduces potential legal hazards. I also worried that some of the clients were being financially irresponsible with regard to their families and dependents (using shared assets) and that possibility didn’t sit right with me. However, I do believe findom surfaces a lot of interesting issues around the intersections of gender, money, power, and sex, and that it can be done with responsibility on both sides.