Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Get a Load of Betsy Devos's Freaking House

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Are you ready to see Betsy Devos’s house? Fair warning, the number of windows on this sumbitch might trigger your trypophobia. It looks like a giant hunk of Swiss cheese but with an implausibly thick rind. Like, imagine an ’80s sitcom about a marooned alien space ship forced to attend a very preppy high school in disguise.

This ambitious Cake Wars submission comes to our attention via the following tweet:

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The fact that, damn, that is literally Betsy Devos’s house is confirmed by 2010 coverage of her moving into the 22,000-square-foot mansion by Grand Rapids News. “For months, cars have slowed along South Shore Drive as gawkers have followed the construction of the DeVos home, the biggest house in Holland, if not Ottawa County,” the paper reported. “We are very excited with it,” Devos told them. No shit!

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The punchline: This is actually, apparently, just a lakefront vacation home! “Their three-story vacation home sets a new standard for size and grandeur among the other million-dollar-plus mansions that line Lake Macatawa, a popular spot with access to Lake Michigan,” according to Grand Rapids News.

Do you hate it? Do you love it as, like, a piece of experimental art? Is it tasteful for a 22,000-square-foot mansion in that there’s really no way to build a non-appalling 22,000-square-foot mansion?