Gentleman Ironist Rush Limbaugh Asks His Female Audience What It's Like to be Lied to by the Media

Performance artist and professional hate-baby Rush Limbaugh wants women to rush, rush to the phone lines to let him know what it’s like to be condescended to. Of course, he notoriously only takes about six heavily-screened calls per three-hour show so the odds of a woman getting through who might be able to explain reality to him are slim-to-none. Plus, he’s just a total piece of shit so, there’s that, too.

Today, Limbaugh wants to know what it’s like for women to be targeted and and routinely insulted by the media every day? What’s it like, huh?? Of course, keep in mind, before you tell him, that this is all coming from a man who allegedly packed unprescribed Viagra on a dateless trip to the Domincan Republic (a sex-industry capital of the western hemisphere), referred to the Rutgers University women’s basketball team as “nappy-headed hos,” held up a photo of 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton on his 1993 television show and called her the White House dog, and called Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute” for her belief that insurance should fully cover the cost of birth control. Tons of respect for women this dummy has, definitely the best person to talk to re: respecting women.

He starts his rant by both condescending to and yelling at his female listeners:

I’d love to know… because the woman in this audience are as involved as the men, they are as up to speed, they are as knowledgable, they are as passionate, you know you are. Maybe in some cases, more so. And I’d like to know what it feels like, to be insulted, every day by the President of the United States and his minions in the media.

Maybe in some cases more so, ladies. Probably in manners of home decorating and baby holding, you know a little bit more than men. Maybe.

Next, it’s onto defending Romney’s binders full of women:

The insult today is, a small comment made by Mitt Romney to illustrate how eager he was to find qualified women when he was Governor of Massachusetts has been blown up into a comment that they’re trying to make you believe makes Romney a sexist. This binder comment that he made and now how the President and the Vice President and the media are now running with this.

Is this the best they can spin things? This is the best they’ve got? I’d have gone with, “WELFARE WELFARE WELFARE OBAMA IS BLACK AND GAY MARRIAGE TERRORISTS GONNA BOMB NEBRASKA.” That’s like, a better way to play this, right? You gotta know your audience!

By far the best part comes near the end of the rant when he flies totally off his rocker. He asks the ladies:

What is it like to be this insulted every day? The President of our country and the major media in this country every day insult you by telling you things that you apparently don’t know about what Republicans want to do to you, and how they look at you, and the things they want to make you do, and you’re no different than just a loose leaf binder. What’s it like to be routinely insulted like this? What’s it like to be targeted in a way that makes you feel like they think you don’t even have a brain? And then to hear that these people are the ones who are insulting your intelligence are the ones who are really looking out for you.

I don’t know, Limbaugh’s audience might actually be the best people to answer this. What’s it like, ladies? Also, did anyone else get a creepy feeling that he was definitely jerking it when he said this shit. “…you apparently don’t know about what Republicans want to do to you, and how they look at you, and the things they want to make you do, and you’re no different than just a loose leaf binder.” AND CLIMAX. (I’m sorry, calling it like I hear it!)

Just remember, when you do call in, Limbaugh’s hearing isn’t great (allegedly Oxycontin allegedly has that effect on ears allegedly), so he usually has to read transcripts of what callers are saying, and since his default is paranoid freak show, he often accidentally argues with people who agree with him. You’ve been warned.

Finally, this is unrelated but also kind-of related because Limbaugh’s grandmother most-likely force fed him her infamous “Under the Sea Salad,” a lime jello fright-fest filled with pecans and olives, maybe that explains him a little more — maybe this bright green sludge has taken over his insides and this bright green sludge HATES WOMEN. Under the Sea Salad is people! Now, please enjoy this picture of an adorable cat being curious and terrified of this garbage food.