Genetically Altered Killer Sharks Are Problematic Favs in a Forthcoming Motherfucking Sequel to Deep Blue Sea

You know, the idea that great whites are these malicious killing machines roving the shorelines looking for some swimmer to chomp on is just pure fiction.

Those are not my words, but I admit, they do sound like something I’d say.

Instead, that line comes from some sort of scientist character in the direct-to-video sequel to 1999’s Deep Blue Sea, which was about mako sharks whose genetic engineering rendered them malicious killing machines roving the deep, looking for some researcher to chomp on.

I should hate Deep Blue Sea 2—no matter what kind of shark-woke gesturing this movie is doing, it clearly reiterates the Jaws idea that sharks are to be feared (and Spielberg’s 1975 classic has been singlehandedly blamed for decimating shark populations). But uh, I’m excited? I like Deep Blue Sea? I’m excited for bull sharks to have their day on screen? These sharks are my problematic favs, like enjoying misogynist music while identifying as a feminist. I guess I’m a bad sharkinist.

“They’re problem-solving, learning how to learn…and they like it!” says someone in this trailer. Same.

“Whatever you’ve created here is teeth and muscle and killer instinct.” Same.

Many scenes in the Deep Blue Sea 2 trailer seem directly bitten from the sequel’s predecessor. Which is to say: same all over again.

Deep Blue Sea 2 is out April 17 and is part of a wave of new shark movies, including The Meg (out August 10) and 48 Meters Down (out next year). Just when you thought it was safe to conserve vulnerable populations…