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Frustrated Couple Fills Box Full of Poop for Present-Pilfering Thief

As Christmas rushes ever closer, more and more people are getting anxious about their holiday packages. Is it the mail that's slow this year or are presents being stolen, wonders everyone who hasn't received their package from Amazon Prime. And one couple, whose mail woes really was caused by thieves decided to take drastic action.

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The Consumerist reports that a DC couple was fed up when their packages had been stolen for the third time since October and decided to teach the thief a lesson. While they can't be sure that it's the same person who's been taking things this entire time, they did make sure that whoever took their last package was going to get an unpleasant surprise when it was opened: An artisanal selection of freshly baked dog feces in assorted sizes and colors. Bon Smellpetit, Thief!

The couple, who set up a camera to catch the pilferer in action, posted the video on YouTube and filed a police report. Excellent work! Now hopefully the packages in their neighborhood will remain safe. But even if the thief isn't caught, they're happy with the results so far.

"I had originally wanted to put a note in the box that said, 'Surprise!'" the woman said.

Others in the neighborhood laughed when they heard what the couple had done.

"I think he deserves it," one woman said.

"You get what you deserve," one man said. "What goes around comes around."

Another man added, "I bet you that's the last time he stole from them, right?"

You never know. Maybe he likes dog poop.

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DISCUSSION

There seems to be a massive uptick in people stealing packages lately. My sister had a box stolen from her front steps last week. The police came around and said a trio of ELEVEN year old kids had gone around the apartment complex and stolen more than twenty packages.

Since my father is a retired busy body who has a canine-like ability to hear the UPS truck, our neighbors have started to ask if they can ship boxes to our house because he's home to sign for them. He fucking loves playing post master.