Miss Piggy, domesticated swine superstar and former partner of a sad amphibian named Kermit, would like her fans to know that she does not need a man in her life. And though, yes, she is technically a puppet incapable of speaking, moving, or fucking—she literally needs a man (she’s performed by one named Eric Jacobsen) to come “alive”—let’s pretend for a few moments that none of that is true.
In an interview with SiriusXM’s Denise Albert and Melissa Musen Gerstein, the pig said: