Freddie Mercury Once Disguised Princess Diana as a Dude and Snuck Her Into a Gay Bar for the 80iest Night on Record

The latest (and possibly greatest) rumor to be circulated about the adventures of Princess Diana sounds like a scene from a Brian De Palma movie: on a sultry night in the culturally decadent late 80s, Freddie Mercury disguises Diana as a man and escorts her into a gay bar in south London for night that will one day come to epitomize “The 80s.” Mercury and Diana were accompanied by comedians Cleo Rocos and Kenny Everett, who helped divert attention from the the disguised Diana. Rocos recounted the night in a book recently serialized in the Sunday Times:

When we walked in… we felt she was obviously Princess Diana and would be discovered at any minute. But people just seemed to blank her. She sort of disappeared. But she loved it.

Rocos couldn’t recall whether Diana was propositioned at the bar, but she distinctly remembered that the princess made an exceedingly attractive queen: “She did look like a beautiful young man.” [Telegraph]

• Lauren Conrad visited India so she could be doused in pink dye. Human agency remains a perilous reality. [NYDN]
• Phil Ramone, the producer behind such musical legends as Barbra Streisand, Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, and, no big deal, Billy Joel, died Saturday morning after being hospitalized in February with an aortic aneurysm. He was 79. [THR]
• Paris and Prince Jackson are ready to testify about their father’s death in 2009. [NYDN]
• Almost-movie starMekhi Phifer married Reshelet Barnes on Saturday. [E!]
• Has nobody made a Sprockets joke about Justin Bieber‘s pet monkey being detained in Germany? Nobody?? [TMZ]
• Robert Pattinson partied in Los Angeles and Kristen Stewart was nowhere in sight. Doesn’t this surprise and unsettle you? It should — the very fabric of Hollywood romance is being torn to pieces. [Radar]
• How did Portuguese soap-opera star Diogo Morgado become the History Channel’s rock-me-sexy Jesus? The Post will tell you all about it, with no dearth of religious puns. [Post]
• Lady Gaga no longer rides around in a boring 24-karat gold wheelchair. Such locomotion is for gauche peasants. She now has a Louis Vuitton wheelchair. [Post]
• Bronson Pinchot is rehabbing houses and promulgating the myth that people still want him to play ancillary characters in movies. [DIY Network]
• RZA insists that he doesn’t owe Dutch singer Thea Van Seijen any residual songwriting money. Thea is of a different opinion. [TMZ]
• Blue Ivy Carter already has a director’s chair. Because she’s better than you, obviously. [USA Today]
• Stephen Baldwin has now evaded both his taxes and prison. [BBC]