Frank Ocean's New Year's Eve Arrest, Explained: 'Hi, Guys, I Smoke Pot'

Illustration for article titled Frank Ocean's New Year's Eve Arrest, Explained: 'Hi, Guys, I Smoke Pot'

Frank Ocean has temporarily lost his driver's license and may be charged with marijuana possession after he was pulled over on New Year's Eve for speeding on an Eastern Sierra Nevada highway and a small bag of weed was discovered in his car. Ocean's representative didn't give a statement, but he did:


That's fair. [ABC News]

Illustration for article titled Frank Ocean's New Year's Eve Arrest, Explained: 'Hi, Guys, I Smoke Pot'

Like acquiring a dog/house/baby, going on vacation together is one of the worst things you can do to try to repair a dead shark relationship. But nobody told Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have reportedly broken up again sometime between a snuggly, PDA-laden trip to Salt Lake City and a New Year's trip to Mexico. The two had a "nuclear argument" that caused Gomez to cut her trip short and leave on the 30th, while The B33bz stayed an extra day. What better time to learn that adult relationships are like, "chilling by the fire while we're eating fondue, make passive aggressive remarks until one of us stops being lazy and ends it." [NYDN]

Illustration for article titled Frank Ocean's New Year's Eve Arrest, Explained: 'Hi, Guys, I Smoke Pot'

Although you may have thought his most embarrassing trait was his surname, Ned Rocknroll, the brand-new husband of Kate Winslet-Rocknroll, has run to the British courts to get an injunction against The Sun before they ran a series of 2010 personal photos that his lawyer describes as "innocent but naive." He added, "We're not trying to hide a guilty secret." Which is TOTALLY NOT WHAT PEOPLE SAY WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO HIDE A GUILTY SECRET or anything. But hey, dude, love means never having to say you're sorry that your name is actually Ned Katyperrysingles Hamsandwich. [The Sun]

Illustration for article titled Frank Ocean's New Year's Eve Arrest, Explained: 'Hi, Guys, I Smoke Pot'

Ann Coulter, that human version of a deleted scene from The Devil's Advocate that we all know and love, took a JetBlue flight from West Palm Beach to La Guardia wearing a blue surgical mask for the duration of the trip. Obvious joke about don'cha wish she could have her mouth covered all the time ROFL!??! Take my wife, please!!!! But for real, I didn't know a raw anal fistula could get ahold of any kind of headwear. [Page Six]


Kim Kardashian has joined the shiny, happy, insane, dubiously-restrictive, Gwyneth Paltrow-endorsed Tracy Anderson family. I wonder how many more roasted almonds you're allowed to eat when you're pregnant. [Daily Mail]

After a tumultuous year, Modern Family's Ariel Winter will add some stability to her life by going to school. [TMZ]

  • The Michael Jackson estate handed $55,000 over to Ola Ray, who was owed a cut of the Thriller profits. [TMZ]

    Kelsey Grammer is selling his massive $6.5 million Beverly Hills house because he's "downsizing." [TMZ]

    Rihanna and Chris Brown got Slurpees nom nom nom. [Daily Mail]

    Megan Fox joined Twitter after she became the first celebrity death hoax of 2013. [NDTV]

    Whoa: as it turns out, that cast Naomi Campbell has been wearing is the result of a robbery assault in Paris. [Daily Mail]

    Harry Styles got Taylor Swift a vintage emerald bracelet just because. [The Sun]

    After a premature birth five months ago, Anna Faris and Chris Pratt's son Jack is doing A-OK. [People]

    Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey cover The Hollywood Reporter and allude to their fight ("Sometimes things get heated for their own reasons"). Borrinngnggngngn. [Popcrush]

    Jessica Simpson never cared about emergency "escape routes" before she had her baby Maxwell, which is funny because I only care about escape routes when Jessica Simpson's music is playing somewhere. [People]

    Lea Michele wore a bikini and held hands with Cory Monteith, who is hilariously dressed like the kid from your freshman dorm who would go from door to door and ask everyone if they wanted to go in on a pizza. Billabong! [Us Weekly]

    "Mama" June Shannon of Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo is not a mayonnaise fan. [Us Weekly]

    In which Don Johnson discusses his junk and the junk of others:

    "Look, I've seen guys with a lot bigger [penises] than me. One time, I was in the Celtics locker room talking to Larry Bird and Kevin McHale... and there's Dennis Johnson coming out of the showers and, dude, that's who put the Johnson in Johnson. I mean, it must have shown on my face, because when I turned back to Larry, he looked at me and said, ‘I know, huh?' and I was like, ‘Dude, that's a weapon.'"

    [Page Six]

    All of these stories about Sofia Vergara's fiancee Nick Loeb trying to hawk his condiment, Onion Crunch, are deeply depressing? [Page Six]

    Oh, and on NYE, her breast popped out of her dress during the couple's skirmish with the table next to them. [TMZ]

    The kid who asked Gabby Douglas to prom got his answer. :-| Just ask a Muggle from your study hall and it will be fine, Leon. [Jezebel inbox]

    "I can handle more than the average bear," says Jennifer Lopez. Otay. [NYDN]



So, Jennifer Lopez is a Yogi Bear fan - and two things that I never had a reason to link together in my life will now never be separate in my brain.

Also, is it only mayo that Mama June doesn't like, or is Miracle Whip in that same boat? Because I know a lot of folks in my very Southern family that despise mayo but will act like you forgot the most important thing ever if you leave Miracle Whip out of the cookout condiment set. (I don't really use either, because mustard and, on occasion, ketchup, is enough to moisten and flavor my foods.)