Foxy Francophile Bradley Cooper Anointed Sexiest Man Alive

Illustration for article titled Foxy Francophile Bradley Cooper Anointed Sexiest Man Alive

Every year the baby Jesus himself floats down from the heavens for his version of Rumspringa, takes in a Chippendales show and then stumbles on over to meet with the good people at People magazine to officially anoint the annual Sexiest Man Alive. This year it's … pause for effect … Bradley Cooper! Even those who think he's an average actor, acclaimed beard or looks bad in makeup, there's no denying the fluent French speaker is a right bit of yum. Hats off, baby Jesus. [People]

Normally, we'd go for the eyes, nose and throat of anyone trying to get close to our collective boyfriend Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but Lindsey Ann Miller is our new hero. Lindsey, who has pancreatic neuroendocrine cancer, is using the shitty card she's been dealt and parlaying it into a potential date with the comely actor – uploading a video asking him out after seeing him in cancer comedy 50/50. "After seeing Joseph Gordon-Levitt's performance and seeing/reading some of his subsequent interviews about the film I thought, 'This guy gets it. And he's cute, I wonder if I could ever run into him somewhere,'" she writes on her blog. "But even though I live in LA, it seems impossible to find him. Maybe YouTube can help…" Well played, Lindsey, well played. [E!]


Illustration for article titled Foxy Francophile Bradley Cooper Anointed Sexiest Man Alive

Systematically missing out on sleep makes non-meth users want to cry blood, but Michelle Williams's handlers took things to a whole other level when it comes to avoiding said eyeball bleeding. Flying to Detroit – where she's filming Oz: The Great And Powerful, yay! – from New York on a private jet, the poor little kitten fell asleep so they asked the pilot to circle for 90 minutes above the destination airport so she could keep snoozing. Now, I was never very good at Monopoly, but aren't private jets really, really expensive? Though check back tomorrow morning at 6am and I'll likely give you my ATM card, pin and social security number for 30 minutes more of sweet zees. [Page Six]

Sorry Julia Roberts and co., but the newly released trailer for Mirror, Mirror confirms what we already expected – that it's pretty much going to suck in comparison to the darker Snow White And The Huntsman. Though we can kind of appreciate the camp yet predictable comedic touch, this is undone by the cloying Disney-ness of it all. [E!]


Illustration for article titled Foxy Francophile Bradley Cooper Anointed Sexiest Man Alive

It's a rare day when Patti LaBelle hits the gossip pages, but with accusations that she yelled obscenities at a baby, let's hope she's here to stay! Filing a lawsuit against her, Kevin and Roseanna Monk, a kindergarten teacher, allege that she got all mad-like because their then-18-month-old kid was running around the lobby of a Manhattan apartment. Asking why they were letting their child run amok, Patti then started screaming at them, throwing water in their faces and a fist in Rebecca's direction. Violence aside, if it's true I'm totally on Team LaBelle. Parents who flat-out refuse to control their precious angels are the worst. [NYDN]

Illustration for article titled Foxy Francophile Bradley Cooper Anointed Sexiest Man Alive

Amy Adams is a fan of the muffin top, taking a dig at other actresses who seem to have galvanised steel vaginas and jump on exercise bikes in the weeks following their birthy times. "I read about these actresses who get on a stationary bike two weeks after giving birth and I'm like, ‘What? Where did you push your baby out of?'" she said. "Since having Aviana, I have a muffin top, and that's okay right now." [People]

  • The adult kids in the sandbox of life are being mean to Kris Humphries, while Kim Kardashian has largely retreated to the underworld to gain strength for Armageddon/her New Year's Eve bash at TAO Las Vegas. [Page Six]
  • We appreciate the efforts, but asking the Kardashians not to be on TV is like asking the wind not to blow. [Radar]
  • Scott Disick wasn't banned from the Dancing With The Stars set because he's a slimy asshole, but rather because of his "alleged tryst" with Kristin Cavallari. Though the article implies it was at Kourtney Kardashian's behest, if we were Kristen we wouldn't want a visual reminder of him trysting on us, either. [Page Six]
  • It would have given those with a heart a major case of the sads, so the world is a better place now that Selena Gomez's dog didn't die after eating a bunch of rocks. [TMZ]
  • Stephenie Meyer hates Twi-hards but is totally into Robstens. [E!]
  • Chaz Bono has discussed his plans to undergo phalloplasty – that's penis-getting surgery to you and I – explaining he'll go to Belgrade to get it done. Which makes sense, as a lot of Serbian guys are totally hung. That and there's a superb specialist there. [Examiner]
  • Joe Jonas ensures his ring stays impure by wining and, well, just wining, an "unidentified brunette" in the East Village. [Page Six]
  • Kim Cattrall says it can suck being associated with Samantha Jones, especially when someone wolf whistles you when you're paralysed in a hospital bed. [Vulture]
  • Is it just me, or do those two Gallagher brothers come across like a couple of bitchy, little whiners? With Noel packing a sad over the fact Katie Holmes didn't want cameras filming her for his website. [People]
  • The pretty cool – and damn sessy – Aishwarya Rai Bachchan gave birth to the new chosen one (sorry Shiloh!) in a Mumbai hospital. [Yahoo]
  • Scoring a $25million two-year renewal contract with E! for her talk show, Chelsea Handler gives each of her 138 staff a $1,000 thank you gift. [Page Six]
  • Nicole Richie, 30, gets a backhanded compliment from a bouncer when he cards her. Glass half-full: it's because you look young. Glass half-empty: you make for a particularly world-weary possible 19-year-old. [Page Six]
  • Awesome sailor-mouthed Twitterer Ellen "Fucking" Barkin has won over her comparatively foetal boyfriend's parents. [Page Six]
  • Justin Bieber is a total hard-ass, as evidenced by his double-barrel bird flip. What's next, a switchblade-style comb? [E!]
  • Parks And Rec's Nick Offerman talks of Alpaca underpants, sustainably harvested animal fats and other ways to be green. [E!]
  • Speaking of, a boxing match between Jack Donaghy and Ron Swanson: who would win? [Vulture]
  • Lea Michele says she's not anorexic and can "eat some bitches under the table." Good to know. [Billboard]
  • This casting gets two thumbs up: Sharon Stone to play Linda Lovelace's mom in Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story. [Yahoo]
  • Wizard Of Oz munchkin Karl Slover dies at 93, Vulture's main page is unintentionally hilarious when they make it seem like a Hunger Games-style competition to the death, with "Only three of the 124 munchkins from Wizard Of Oz remain." [Vulture]

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1. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I have no idea why Bradley Cooper is considered "hot", "sexy", or anything resembling that. That guy just oozes "asshole" to me and I can't figure out why Hollywood is so hellbent on making him "happen".

2. Normally, I'd use this as a perfect opportunity to question how mediocre Julia Roberts became a star, but I'll pass on that in favor of defending this flick. (Yes, you read right.) No, it's not the other Snow White movie, but then again, it's not supposed to be. It's set in a different tone, which works to its advantage in my eyes. And while Julia is no Charlize Theron, I can actually see myself tolerating her in this flick (when I catch it on Starz on a rainy 2013 Sunday).


Phil Collins' daughter* > Kristen Stewart

*though I've only seen her in one movie, the fact that she is the daughter of one of my best childhood musical memories guarantees that she will win at life

3. Something in the milk isn't clean when it comes to this Patti LaBelle story, so I will refrain from comment until things are made clearer.

4. This Linda Lovelace has gone through so many hands, I wonder why they're still going at it. After a while, it's safe to assume when a project isn't meant to be.