In just 72 hours, Fifth Harmony has gone from dull musical group responsible for 2016's best earworm whose members I can’t name, to captivating cultural trainwreck responsible for 2016's best earworm whose members I’m slowly starting to learn because they won’t stop making statements about each other.
It started with the unceremonious departure of Camila Cabello early Monday morning, when four-fifths of Fifth Harmony announced that Cabello’s management had suddenly informed them of her decision to quit. Just hours later, Cabello said she was “shocked” by her former sisters’ statement, adding that they had known her intentions for some time. (That response also received a response.) Meanwhile, audio leaked of one-fifth of Fifth Harmony comparing the group to slavery (oop), which many took as an indictment of their shitty management.
Today’s newest drama—the revelation that Ally Brooke has just unfollowed Fifth Harmony on Instagram—suggests the recent turmoil has brought all the group’s problems to the surface, and many believe the band could turn into Third Harmony—or worse: Zero Harmony—before you can say, “Allydinahlarennormani.”
One clever ONTD commenter responded to this dumb mess with a perfect video:
Queen Elizabeth II reportedly “approves” of Meghan Markle I, and I am personally relieved, because this means we’re one step closer to witnessing the hottest and most problematic member of Britain’s Royal Family marry a Canadian actress from a family of normals who is best known for her role in a USA show about suits called Suits.
Writes Us Weekly:
...A Buckingham Palace insider says Her Majesty is “fully supportive” of grandson Prince Harry’s relationship with the Suits actress, 35.
While she has yet to meet Markle (it took Duchess Kate five years to score an introduction!), “She’s delighted to see Harry in a loving relationship,” continues the source.
I can’t wait for this wedding. I hope it’s in Vegas.
Miscellaneous LMAO: Part I
Miscellaneous LMAO: Part II
Miscellaneous LMAO: Part III
- Kanye will not be taking his Life of Pablo tour to Europe. [TMZ]
- Leonardo DiCaprio will look exactly like this in 30 years. [Daily Mail]
- If you’re friends with Helen Hunt, give her a hug for me. Then send me an email and tell me what she’s like IRL. [THR]
- Kate McKinnon hugged a crying stranger at that new Broadway show that I thought was about gay dudes but isn’t actually about gay dudes. [Page Six]
- The second paragraph of this is c l a s s i c Tinsley Mortimer coverage. I’ve missed you, girl!!!! [Page Six]
- “Zsa Zsa Gabor is NOT getting buried wearing expensive diamonds and jewelry, despite an inaccurate webloid report. Gossip Cop can exclusively debunk this claim. We’re told it’s ‘not true.’” The best writers on the internet work at Gossip Cop.