As we have mentioned before, Forever21 is owned by Evangelical Christians. So it’s no surprise that a lot of the garments offered are covered — nay, smothered — in crosses. But sometimes, in an effort to combine hip trends and Christianity, you get weird juxtapositions of Jesus and jaguars.
A few examples for sale right now:
Shredded Jesus. He performed some exorcisms, which is not very metal. (Unless you’re Stryper.) Turning water in to wine is fairly rock and roll, though.
Scottish Jesus.
Actually, He probably would be into kilts.
Leopard Jesus.
Like Yahoo says: “Why did Jesus heal all the leopards in the leopard colony?”
“He loved cool cats, that’s why.”
Jaguar Jesus. (If you’re British, that’s jag-you-are.) We’ve heard of Jesus as a lion… but never as a Central American panther. But hey, at least there’s a commitment to the concept of Jesus-as-animal. Which you’d better get used to.
BECAUSE JESUS IS AN ANGRY JUNGLE CAT.
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
