For This One French Dolphin, the Beach Can Be a Very Erotic Place 

I can’t tell if this news item is more about horny dolphins or humans with dolphin-slash-mermaid fetishes, but in any case the sexualized dolphin story trend has not abated thanks, of course, to France.

Vice reported via Ouest-France on Monday that a lubricious dolphin near the shoreline at France’s Bay of Brest has been attempting to rub himself against tourists and kayaks in the manner of dry-humping. Le Télégramme reported on Monday that the dolphin, now named Zafar, has a “pink penis about twenty centimeters often erect.” Comme une petite baguette.

Samy Hussani, director of species conservation at Océanopolis in Brest, explained to Ouest-France that “the solitary dolphin is looking for company. He will rub against the hulls of boats or humans while he is in heat.”

CNN reported on Tuesday that the dolphin’s behavior became so frisky it was deemed a threat, and the local mayor, Roger Lars, wound up banning sunbathing on the Brittany beach where the horny sea creature tended to show up. Lars told Ouest-France that he issued the ordinance on August 20 because “several swimmers were very scared.”

Not everyone agrees. A local lawyer named Erwan Le Cornec told Le Télégramme that the new ban went way too far and only contributes to the “demonization” of the dolphin. Clearly it is now incumbent upon us to ask whether the dolphin enjoys being demonized.