For the Nth Time in Five Years, Teresa and Joe Giudice Are Headed For Divorce 

After some five years of speculation that the fraught marriage of Joe and Teresa Giudice, which began in 1999, would soon come to an end, a report in Wednesday’s Us Weekly proves that, yep, people are still speculating.

“TERESA AND JOE / DIVORCE!” the cover screams in that deceptively definitive headline construction that is its trademark. They’re not explicitly claiming the two are getting divorced, they’re just saying their two first names and screaming, “DIVORCE!” like some petulant toddler who just learned a new word.

The story itself contains quotes from sources who say similarly vague things like, “The marriage may be over,” and “Teresa’s...learned she doesn’t need Joe.” But there is no confirmation from either party. No scanned and watermarked divorce papers. Just the same thing people have been screaming for five years:

“DIVORCE! DIVORCE! DIVORCE! DIVORCE!”

2012:

2013:

2014:

2015:

2016:

[Us Weekly]

In funnier (and more definitive) breakup news, Amber Rose has fully cut ties with her ex-boyfriend Wiz Khalifa by covering up the tattoo she had of his face with the image of Slash.

See here? On the bottom of her left arm? That’s not Wiz, that’s a Guns N’ Roses guitarist.

Some news:

[Us Weekly]

• I can’t wait for video of Angelina’s “In Conversation With” talk at TIFF. [Celebitchy]
  
• Who sang it: “Water, water drippin’, come take a peek ... you in a trailer ho, bitch you can’t compete.” [TMZ]
  
• Kelly Ripa is NOT quitting Live over some Kim Kardashian bullshit. [GossipCop]
  
• I don’t know. [Us Weekly]
  
• I really don’t know. [Us Weekly]
  
• I know, but don’t care. [People]