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Footwear Trend Alert: Pay Hundreds of Dollars for Shoes That Look Used

Illustration for article titled Footwear Trend Alert: Pay Hundreds of Dollars for Shoes That Look Used

These sneakers are filthy, frayed, rumpled, and available at Barneys for $565. Welcome to the new luxury shoe market.

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Perhaps the appeal is that rich people want to attain a certain dressed-down, more-casual-than-casual look but are simply too rich to actually get dirty or have to walk enough to break in a single pair of shoes, especially when they have so many other shoes to wear. So now designers are apparently going after that very specific demographic, attaching hefty price tags so that everyone knows that the shoes are supposed to look smelly and used.

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Converse, which are typically in the $30 to $40 range, are now producing limited edition "distressed" sneakers for about $310.

Illustration for article titled Footwear Trend Alert: Pay Hundreds of Dollars for Shoes That Look Used

You can also get dirty, stained knock-off Vans slip-ons for $521.

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But expensive garbage shoes aren't limited to sneakers. You can also get loafers for for $595.

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Or some used-illusion military boots for $1,139.34 (left) or a bargain at $255 (right).

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These oxfords don't even come with laces. They are $720.

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We all know how difficult and time consuming it is to get white suede boots dirty. Thankfully, you can just go to Barneys and get these for $1,250.

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They actually make these distressed-sole Isabel Marant ($790) boots look pristine by comparison.

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These junkers are practically a steal at $278.

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But nobody does filthy shoes better than Golden Goose, whose signature look seems to be highway-shoulder-mystery-shoe. These are $1,080.

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And these are on sale for $783.94.

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DISCUSSION

Oh, for fuck's sake. I have a closet full of "distressed" Chuck T's that can be yours for $500.

Do rich people even know they're being trolled? I feel like anyone who shells out actual money for any bullshit of this type should get a throat-punch on the way out of the store. I'll do that for free, even.