Folgers, You Don't Need to Do This

Folgers, the company best known for dependable yet mediocre coffee and this commercial that may or may not have been about incest, is trying to appeal to the youths by putting a new gourmet coffee in pods—because millennials love Keurigs, apparently?

The Wall Street Journal says that in an attempt to win over the young consumers, Folgers has created 1850 by Folgers—an artisanal-adjacent coffee that is “made with 100% arabica coffee beans, steel-cut instead of pulverized and roasted in perforated drum roasters as opposed to solid ones.” Knowing very little about coffee and caring even less about whether or not the shit I’m drinking is “steel-cut” like the good oatmeal, I can only assume that these words mean that the coffee is less like brown water and more like the fancy stuff.

This attempt to reinvigorate a brand associated with the elderly and people with no taste is inspired by uh, this:

Millennials prefer darker, stronger coffees with a story behind the brand, their research showed, but changing the perception of Folgers is difficult. It’s too closely associated with the jingle in its commercials being used since 1984: “The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.” Executives said for the new brand, they looked for 1800s images and names of blends that Folgers has sold, going as far back as its beginnings as a provisioning company for gold miners in San Francisco.

Coffee is often the best part of waking up, making Folgers’ iconic brand jingle not only memorable but also true—a point that Folgers executives are clearly ignoring. This is where the gold is! Don’t dig around in Folgers’ gold mining, rough rider past—own the mediocrity! Bad coffee is good because it makes “good” coffee a treat—it’s dependable, reliable, and will always be there. Don’t be ashamed, Folgers. Own the bad, girl!