When my editor and Victorian ghost-loving kindred spirit Kelly Faircloth told me she had a Fashion Scavenger Hunt for me but that I “couldn’t laugh” at it, I’ll admit that I was hoping she wanted me to find a ring or locket made partially from the hair of a child that died during the same general time frame as the Boer Wars because I know where to get those, easy. When she told me she was hoping for a lightweight blazer to wear in a freezing office over sundresses, I couldn’t imagine what might be amusing about that, as I was just that moment wearing an oversized plaid blazer atop a pair of booty shorts, four-inch clog heels, and a David Bowie tee shirt on my way out the door to meet a new plastic surgeon in order for the filler man to understand that I’m a professional woman who does not fuck around.
So if anyone should be laughed at, it’s probably me. But, I am a woman who appreciates the message a strong blazer over a soft outfit can convey, that of a stylish media professional who is also cold. My parameters were that said blazer should be navy, brown, or black in color and must cover most of the bum to avoid looking like one lost half of the sad, dark-hued skirt suit set my high school best friend was forced to wear at her after school job working the cosmetics counter at Beall Ladymon.
I went to Anthropologie first because when I want clothing that can, as Kelly put it in her request, “do the heavy lifting on projecting tasteful sophistication for me,” I usually head there, react to the pricetags the way most would react to pornography in their house of worship, and then go someplace else. However, this blazer is pretty much the price blazers cost, and isn’t too structured, which I think gives it a kind of “Oh this old thing?” coolness. Plus, summer blazers should generally have sleeves that look cool when rolled up or else what the fuck are we even doing here.
For a more affordable option, ASOS has something similar, but the sleeves aren’t as cool and the shoulder seam looks like it might be a little bit wonky, which would drive me crazy because I had the misfortune of working as a personal shopper in a high-end boutique catering to Houston’s loneliest, bossiest professional women for over a year.
I like this one because while most things with the word “boyfriend” in the title just mean oversized, this really does look like a no-nonsense dorky/cool dude’s blazer with the addition of a jaunty little sleeve. I would consider swapping out the buttons for something mismatched and quirky, but again, shiny, navy plastic buttons trigger me as they remind me of wealthy women changing their minds at the last second about a heap of fabric they could easily afford for some invisible to me marker of a thing “looking cheap” and thus costing me my commission.
It is possible that this is not what Kelly meant when she said “brown,” but most brown options I found looked dorky/dorky and not dorky/cool, thus rendering themselves disqualified. This is a great summer blazer color in my opinion and the Nordstrom lookbook has proven it can exude casual cool because I would immediately feel embarrassed about whatever I was wearing were I to stand near this woman.
Simple, reminds me of Brenda Walsh, buttons wouldn’t lose me my commission. Done and Done.
Look, this blazer costs too much, will probably have already been sold by the time you see this, Kelly, and might not even be what you’re looking for. But can you just buy it, please because I’m imagining you on a little sailboat in a skipper’s hat and floral mini sundress, and I need you to let me have this and take me with you.
Readers, do you have any suggestions for Kelly?