Last night, TLC aired the one-hour special Extreme Poodles about the Barkleigh’s dog-grooming beauty pageant. It was like Best in Show meets Toddlers & Tiaras meets Bronner Brothers Hair Show. Basically, it was the culmination of everything camp.
In the Barkleigh’s Creative Grooming Competition, dogs are groomed live on stage in front of an audience. (They are allowed to be colored—using a non-toxic, vegetable-based dye—beforehand, but all cutting must happen during the contest.) The prize is a cover shoot for Groomer to Groomer magazine.
The grooming is judged by people like this guy.
There are a host of unpredictable elements that could ruin the chances for competitors, like irregular bowels. One dog, Odin, was constipated the morning of the event, and his owner feared that he might poop on the table. He didn’t—but he farted a lot. This exact thing has happened to me before, except substitute a dog-grooming competition for my wedding, and “table” for “altar.” (I ended up finally going during the salad course at the reception.)