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Elon Musk and Grimes Had to Die So Halsey and G-Eazy Could Live

Illustration for article titled Elon Musk and Grimes Had to Die So Halsey and G-Eazy Could Liveem/em
Image: Getty

Halsey, a person often described as a singer, and G-Eazy, a blissfully unaware rapper, were a thing until they weren’t. The only documentation of real romance is found in their 2018 collaborative single “Him & I,” an unavoidable listening experience if you’re the kind to frequent late night Uber rides, or, like, Forever 21. When the pair broke up in early July after a few months of courtship, Halsey deleted a bunch of pictures of them together on Instagram—she might as well have buried the dude. And that was that, until today. TMZ spotted Halsey and G-Eazy brushing limbs while climbing into a car after the 2018 MTV Video Music Awards Monday night.

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...You know what that means. Elon Musk and Grimes had to die for Halsey and G-Eazy to live.

Look at the facts: Elon Musk and Grimes stopped following each other on Instagram Monday—the same day as the VMAs. Everyone (aka gossip blogs and ME) thinks they’ve broken up, and before we’ve even come up with a decent ship name for them. (Same goes for Halsey and G-Eazy...H-Eazy?)

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Halsey claims she didn’t attend the MTV VMAs because she wasn’t nominated, therefore “it didn’t feel right to go.” The statement is certainly true to Halsey’s particular brand of petty, but it’s also the perfect cover to hide a rekindled flame! G-Eazy introduced an award or performance or something—honestly who can even remember what happened during that shit show—so if Halsey had shown up, fans would’ve put two and two together. Romance = reactivated.

R.I.P. E-grimes, Grusk, Mimes, whatever... long live Halzy!

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

thepriceofeggsinmalta
ThePriceofEggsinMalta

The percentage of pop culture stories I stumble across with names I don’t recognize at all has really started to skyrocket since I became a parent. I was never exactly on the cutting edge of pop culture even when I was a teenager, and I got fuddier and duddier as I slipped into my twenties and early thirties, but I usually at least kind of knew the names of the artists and social movements that I didn’t understand.

But now, even if I wanted to pretend I was hip and with-it, I wouldn’t even have the vernacular to do so.