Duh-ramaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

To paraphrase “Roman’s Revenge,” it really looks like Meghan Markle’s got the entire Palace scared! Shook! Panicking! Anonyminas have been leaking all kinds of would-be reputation-tarnishing gossip about the Suits star-turned-Duchess of Sussex for days now (e.g., unnamed insiders leaking to The Sun that staff nicknamed Prince Harry “the hostage” in the weeks leading up to his and Markle’s wedding), presumably in anticipation of her tell-all interview with Oprah Sunday night on CBS, which Marie Claire predicts is “sure to be a bombshell.” The reports—which tbh don’t so much succeed at making Meghan out to be a villain so much as they make Palace staff look like racist assholes—have gotten so nasty that Chrissy Teigen, noted famous woman and co-star of Markle’s on Deal or No Deal back in the day, has called on the press to “fucking stop it,” per Us Weekly. “These people won’t stop until she miscarries.”

What’s less clear for the time being is what consequences Meghan and Harry might face once the tell-all actually airs. Sources from inside the Palace gave conflicting accounts behind The Times of London’s paywall, which Page Six has graciously scaled for us. One insider suggested that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex risk losing their royal titles for giving the interview, adding that royal courtiers had met last week to discuss such action: “I don’t think that after this interview, anything is off the table.” Another source, however, affirmed that “the titles are not up for debate.” Still another warned that whatever happens next will depend on whether Meghan and Harry criticize the Crown as an institution or the various individuals who bear it: “If they go after the people, the people will come out swinging. The institution can take the blows, the people cannot.”

Speaking of which, TMZ reports that Markle has nothing but kind things to say about Kate Middleton and Prince William, despite past reports of tension between the two couples. Maybe the intel’s wrong though! Not to do promo that neither Oprah nor CBS are paying me for, but I guess we’ll just have to tune in tonight to find out…