Oh dear. You know that time you flipped by A&E's mega-hit Duck Dynasty and thought, just for second, oh hey maybe I should check this out and the barely made it through 30 seconds before flipping back to Chopped? Yeah, you probably made the right call.
Duck Dynasty star and family "patriarch" (HOW FITTING REALLY) Phil Robertson went on a pretty gross rant about homosexuals in an interview with GQ Magazine. Goodie, just in time for the holidays! Here's what he told the magazine for it's January issue:
"It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man's anus. That's just me. I'm just thinking: There's more there! She's got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I'm saying? But hey, sin: It's not logical, my man. It's just not logical."
OMG OMG WTF WTF SHUT UP.
Don't worry, other marginalized groups! Phil has plenty to say about you, too.
Phil On Growing Up in Pre-Civil-Rights-Era Louisiana: "I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I'm with the blacks, because we're white trash. We're going across the field.... They're singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, 'I tell you what: These doggone white people'—not a word!... Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues."
No one was singing the blues.
My secret pretend blog husband, Drew Magary has more snippets from his interview that weren't included in the article over at Deadspin, too.
As for me, I'm going back to writing all those letters to get Celebrity Duets back on the air.
ETA: Robertson has been suspended from the show, following a response from A&E.
Image via Getty Images
DISCUSSION
Dear people who hate gay people because they find butt sex squicky -
Don't think about it.
Think about the most grandparent-y couple you know, well into their 80s. Now think about them fucking. Gross, right? You know how you get along with old people? YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT THEM FUCKING EVERY TIME YOU LOOK AT THEM.
Extend gay people the same courtesy.
Thanks.