Drinking a McDonald's Japan Milkshake Is Just Like Sucking on a Boob

Illustration for article titled Drinking a McDonalds Japan Milkshake Is Just Like Sucking on a Boob

It is so hard to come to terms with the fact that we aren’t babies anymore and can’t just suck on a tit for nourishment. McDonald’s Japan is maybe having a harder time with that realization than most.

According to circulating reports, milkshakes sold at the Japanese chain are designed to make you feel like you’re a baby drinking breast milk. In his book Den Fujita’s Business Strategies 2: Overwhelming Business Strategies, McDonald’s Japan founder Den Fujita writes (as translated by RocketNews24):

“When humans drink something, the speed that produces the most delicious feeding is the speed at which babies nurse... McDonald’s straws are designed so that when used with a shake, the speed will be the same as that of an infant drinking breast milk.”


Will somebody go to Japan and remind us what it feels like to nurse?

Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.

Images courtesy of McDonald’s.

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I get that Gawker needs occasional ~craaaazy Japan~ pageclicks, but come on, reportage about a handbook written like 60 years ago? COME ON. Japan has enough white perverts flocking to get a taste of that “crazy, repressed hentai culture.” Japan does not NEED THIS.