'Dressing Optimistically' Trend Proves Winter Has Driven Us All Insane

After months and months of uncomfortably cold temperatures, historical amounts of frozen precipitation, and dreary grey skies, a new fashion trend has finally emerged: dressing for spring even though it’s really fucking cold outside. Which is also a sign that winter has finally caused us to completely lose our shit.

The New York Times claims to have spotted the hot new street style trend of “dressing optimistically,” which is wearing clothing designed for warmer temperatures when it’s actually way too cold to be wearing said clothing. All the hip city youths are doing it, says the Times. But, if you read the quotes of people snapped following this “trend,” it doesn’t take much deduction to realize that they’re not stylish people. They’re people who have lost their marbles. Here’s a design student in a pink plaid blazer:

I recently bought this shirt by Engineered Garments for spring. It’s pink with birds on it: really cool. Spring is my favorite season. I’m Vietnamese. Where I’m from, we don’t really have spring.

His well-chosen accessories say “style,” but his words say “guy who is doing the sartorial equivalent of a thwarted Bugs Bunny foil strumming his lips absently, crazily.”

How about this Manhattan magazine editor wearing silk pants when it’s been in the 30-40 degree range almost nonstop for the last month?

I’m sick of my black tights and black ankle boots. At this point, it’s all so ubiquitous and repetitive. I’ve bought a few spring things in anticipation: a couple of crop tops and a midiskirt from Asos. And I’m excited for miniskirts. I’ll wear them with bare legs and maybe little flats.

That reads like a child’s letter to Santa. A child who is asking for a pony, despite the fact that she lives in a high rise apartment building.

And this one couldn’t be more quixotic if it were written on an imaginary windmill.

I’m really tired of black. I was walking to work in my usual black shoes, and I was, like, “I don’t want to wear these anymore.” So I walked into American Apparel and bought these white jellies. I was daydreaming a bit: I’m going to wear them to the beach in the summer. […] Now all I’m buying is white, blue and prints.

See? Insane to the point of buying things based entirely on the hopeful delusion that it will one day warm up.

While I empathize with the sort of mental strain a person must be under to dress like the weather will bend to your wardrobe, I’ve erred the opposite way this winter; I’m so committed to my pessimistic (but self-preservingly so) outlook on the weather that when I was on vacation in the Caribbean last week, I spent a good chunk of time in a sweatshirt and Chuck Taylors. It’s a different form of winter weather-induced insanity. A less fun form. A less silk pants-wearing form. But at least I’m warm.