Doughnut Perfume Will Give A Guy A Boner

The new scent Eau Flirt claims it’s “the world’s first perfume clinically proven to make men flirt with women.” But can a perfume really make you into a dude-magnet?

Yeah, no. Dr. Johan Lundstrom tells the Times, “There’s really nothing that you can spray on and the opposite sex will fall for you.” However, this hasn’t stopped scientists from measuring which scents give guys boners. One study measured men’s penile circumference while they smelled various odors, and found that they were especially turned on by lavender, pumpkin pie, doughnuts, and black licorice. This makes guys sound like a combination of Homer Simpson and a twee French confectioner, but Eau Flirt’s manufacturers were undeterred: they combined the scents of pumpkin pie and lavender and are now selling them in a green bottle. Hot?

If you say so. According to Stephanie Rosenbloom of the Times, “scientists say that the fragrance most likely to make you feel sexy (and to make other people think you’re sexy) is one that puts you in a good mood.” Which makes sense — rolling around in pumpkin pie isn’t going to make you irresistible if it makes you feel gross. Rosenbloom also notes that sexy is in the nose of the beholder:

The researchers did note in their findings that there could be many explanations for the men’s arousal. The odors might have reminded them of a favorite food. Or a steamy sexual partner. Or perhaps the odors simply made them feel relaxed.

Anybody who’s ever been knocked flat as an adult by the smell of her high school crush’s deodorant on some anonymous passerby knows exactly what the researchers are talking about. The sexiness of a smell is highly subjective, and any perfume that claims to be sexy to everyone is probably making false promises. But go ahead, spray on some Eau Flirt — if you think it will make men flirt with you, it probably will. Then again, you could always just flirt with them.