How much Diet Dr. Pepper could I buy with $4 billion???
Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:
- Donald Trump once tried to inflate his net worth by claiming that his name alone was worth $4 billion. What makes this story worse is that he did this all in an effort to buy the BUFFALO BILLS. [Washington Post]
- Shocker: Stephen Moore, the anti-tax conservative ideologue Trump has nominated to serve on the Federal Reserve, owes the IRS $75,000. Not paying your taxes is a great way to reduce your taxes, it is true! [The Guardian]
- Nothing to see here: Ivanka’s attorney tried to influence Michael Cohen’s congressional testimony, asking him to make statements that would distance her from the Moscow Trump Tower deal. [Vanity Fair]
- House Democrat Darren Soto, with the backing of the island’s Governor Ricardo Rosselló, announced legislation to make Puerto Rico the 51st state. “It’s time to end the 120-year injustice of Puerto Rico being a colony,” Soto said. [Washington Post]
- We get it, Cory. [CNN]
Taylor Lautner Doesn’t Even Remember Saying ‘Bella! Where the Hell Have You Been Loca?’
- Wayne Messam, the mayor of Miramar, Florida, has announced he will run for the Democratic presidential nomination. Messam sounds cool, but in other news, I have announced the formation of an exploratory committee to get Jezebel to send me to Mexico City for the duration of the election season. [CNN]
- HUD is suing Facebook for housing discrimination over its targeted ads. [New York Times]
- Who said it best: Laura Ingraham or Donna Haraway? (Obviously Haraway because Ingraham is a racist, transphobic jerk.) [Newsweek]
- Old people doing good shit will always make me cry. [BuzzFeed News]
Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:
This has been Barf Bag.